Chelsea make £100M bid for Crawley Town striker Tom Nichols after Fulham upset

Time to drop another £100m

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Chelsea have made an audacious ‘take it or leave it’ £100M bid for Crawley Town striker Tom Nichols following his Carabao Cup heroics last night.

The 28-year-old scored one and made another as League Two Crawley knocked Premier League newcomers Fulham out of the Carabao Cup with a 2-0 victory at the Broadfield Stadium.

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Blues chairman Todd Boehly believes £100M would be enough to lure Nichols away from the Reds who remain winless after 5 league games this season.

‘Tom is a player we’ve been looking at for quite a few hours’, Boehly told Paddy Power News.

‘He’s got all the qualities we’re looking for in a player, in that, he’s not already on the Chelsea books and owns a pair of football boots’.

Todd Boehly, Co-Founder, Chairman and CEO, Eldridge, speaks during the Milken Institute Global Conference on October 19, 2021 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Patrick T. FALLON / AFP) (Photo by PATRICK T. FALLON/AFP via Getty Images)

When asked if £100M was a realistic offer for a forward of Nichols’ calibre, Boehly said:

‘You’re right. Better up that to £200M’.

It’s understood the Stamford Bridge club have boosted their transfer budget after Boehly discovered an ‘unlimited funds’ hack on the PC game Football Manager.

‘It’s a handy trick – but it’s not the only one’, winked the 48-year-old.

‘I don’t understand why Thomas didn’t save the game before the Leeds defeat then replay the match until we got the win’.

Meanwhile, Nichols is relishing the opportunity to follow in the footsteps of Chelsea’s other legendary number 9s.

‘It’s an honour to wear the same shirt as Chris Sutton, Khalid Boulahrouz and Steve Sidwell’, beamed the former Dorchester Town hitman.

Asked if he felt the £100M price tag would add any extra pressure on him, the striker shrugged:

‘Couldn’t do any worse than Lukaku mate’.

In other news, Manchester United new boy Casemiro was spotted taking selfies as the world-famous Vimto monument in the city.

The 30-year-old posted some of the pics on Instagram along with the caption:

‘The Di Marías don’t know what they’re missing’.

*Paddy Power’s breaking sports coverage is 100% fake news*

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