New Man United midfielder Christian Eriksen has already issued a come and get me (back) plea to Brentford ahead of Saturday’s showdown between the two sides.
The Danish international wants a swift return to West London before United’s visit this weekend.
Eriksen is understood to be desperate to leave Old Trafford after just one Premier League game after realising that the Red Devils are still as s**t as last season, if not s**tter.
A close friend of the 30-year-old told Paddy Power News;
“Christian wants out. He thought he was joining one of the biggest clubs in the world, but has realised immediately that this lot are a bunch of total amateurs.
NEW TO PADDY POWER NEWS?
“The dressing-room is still toxic at the Theatre of Dreams despite this summer’s departures – there’s no banter at Old Trafford.
“The other day he made that fake fart noise you can do when you put your hand under your armpit when Ronaldo walked in but nobody laughed.
“The gaffer then punished him by making him play as a false nine against Brighton.”
And the club’s lack of direction has undermined the ex-Spurs player’s confidence already.
“Nobody knows whose really in charge” his mate continued, “The other day he bought some doughnuts into training for the lads, but when he asked who was dealing with the expense claims, nobody had a clue.
“He never had this problem at Brentford, or even Spurs for that matter, and Levy has a reputation for being as tight as a duck’s arse.”
The final straw, however, seems to have come this week.
“Chris is used to playing alongside world-class footballers. Now it looks as though he could be sharing a dressing-room with Fred, McTominay, Arnautovic and Rabiot. Some of these wouldn’t get a game down the road at FC United.”
Even if Eriksen travels down to the capital with the United squad, by the time 5.30 on Saturday comes, who knows what colours he’ll run out in;
“Chris is pulling out all the stops to get back to West London,” a Brentford insider told us. “He’s been on the blower to Thomas Frank since full-time last Saturday and his old gaffer has even sent him a Brentford kit in the post, just in case a deal goes through at the eleventh hour.”
*Paddy Power’s breaking football news coverage is 100% fake news*
Read More
- Breaking: Man United offer contract to James Beattie after Arnautovic snub
- Forest squad taught the Casper Slide by new boy Jesse Lingard
- De Jong to play for free at Barcelona rather than join Man United
- Rabiot’s mum FUMES about United training gear in parents’ group chat
- Mark Lawrenson takes on a Paddy Power punter in our £/€50 Premier League predictions challenge