Zlatan Ibrahimović has declared himself fit for Sweden’s Women’s Euro 2022 semi-final clash with England.
The 40-year-old AC Milan star has recovered from knee surgery in time to make the Swedish women’s side’s remarkable run to the semis somehow all about him.
There were rumours an anterior cruciate ligament injury could force the forward into retirement but the opportunity to piggyback the women’s achievements proved too tempting.
Ibrahimović made the announcement on Instagram in a longwinded rant in which he waffled on about being a lion.
The striker informed head coach Peter Gerhardsson of his availability with a text message which read:
‘You’re welcome. Zlatan’.
‘They’ve done well to get this far but I’ll take it from here’, the former Barcelona and Paris Saint-Germain forward told Paddy Power News.
‘This will undoubtedly be the highlight of my teammate’s lives and I’m absolutely thrilled for them’.
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‘I’m delighted to be playing against the Lionesses as it gives me yet another opportunity to refer to myself as a lion in the third person’.
Meanwhile, England boss Sarina Wiegman said her players have been rehearsing their penalty routine for the semi-final by walking back to the halfway line and looking dejected.
‘The girls have been working hard on their trudge back to centre circle’, the Lionesses boss told Paddy Power news.
‘After they’ve missed, I told them they should bow their heads, untuck their jerseys and meet me at the halfway line where I can thank them individually for costing me my job’.
‘We’ve had the likes of Chris Waddle, Stuart Pearce, David Batty and of course, Gareth Southgate at the training ground this week giving the girls some tips on how to take a sh*te penalty’.
‘Gareth told the girls if they were culpable of missing a decisive kick, they could look forward to 30-years of ridicule as well as featuring in the odd television advert in which they’re the butt of the joke’.
*Paddy Power’s breaking football news coverage is 100% fake news*
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