Arsenal doc reveals Arteta drew steaming pile of cr*p on whiteboard before Spurs game ​

Stink lines and everything


Mikel Arteta drew a picture of a sh*t on the board in the dressing room before Arsenal’s North London derby defeat at the end of last season, it has emerged.

In a sneak peek at Amazon Prime’s All or Nothing: Arsenal released this morning, Arteta draws a huge steaming pile of cr*p on a whiteboard to motivate his players before their 3-0 mauling at the hands of bitter rivals Tottenham.


The Spaniard was hoping to emulate his former boss Arsene Wenger who once inspired Arsenal to victory by drawing a wolf and asking his team to play like hungry pack animals.

‘You see this sh*t? This is how I want all of you to play tonight’, Arteta tells his players during an inspirational pre-match speech.

However, after losing the game at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, some players questioned Arteta’s methods during a fiery dressing room row.

‘I followed your instruction to the letter, boss’, screamed Rob Holding who was dismissed in the 33rd minute after two bookings.

‘But seeing as how we were playing against our arch-rivals with a place in next season’s Champions League up for grabs, maybe you should’ve drawn a different picture?’, the defender suggested.

Arteta explained his actions to players and staff once order was restored inside the dressing room.

‘The truth is I cannot draw to save my life’, admitted the 40-year-old.

‘I was always picked last for Pictionary at Man City Christmas parties’.

‘I tried to draw a lion tonight but it looked more like a primary school child’s attempt at drawing Ron Perlman with a wig on’.

‘I’d written a whole speech about lions protecting their territory from rogue intruders, in this case North London and Spurs but I f**ked it with the picture’.

‘About five minutes before you all came in I panicked and drew a sh*t with little flies above it’.

Paddy Power News understands several senior Arsenal players questioned why Arteta didn’t draw a picture of the Champions League for motivation but quickly realised no one at the club had ever seen one.

*Paddy Power’s breaking football news coverage is 100% fake news*

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