Gabriel Jesus hopeful of joining Barcelona on a free in January ​

Arsenal - just a stepping stone, innit


Brazilian striker Gabriel Jesus is keen on a January loan move to Barcelona according to Catalan sources.

The 25-year-old is about to sign on the dotted line at The Emirates and join Arsenal, but his long-term future looks to be elsewhere.


“Gabriel is looking forward to playing at the Camp Nou in the New Year” a Barca spokesperson told Paddy Power News,

“We’ll let the Arse nurture his talent for the first few months, then we’ve advised him to return late from the World Cup in December, which will p**s Mikel Arteta right off and will ultimately see him released.”

The skint Catalan giants are understood to be using former Gunner and current Barca frontman Pierre Emerick-Aubameyang, who also left North London under in controversial circumstances, as an adviser in the deal.

“There’s no doubt that Pierre is key to us getting this over the line” a club insider told us, “He’s the master of s**t-housery and can advise Jesus in the best ways to get under Arteta’s skin, when he’s had enough of trying to rescue lost causes at Arsenal.

“Having the World Cup in Qatar in November has been a blessing to us and has saved Gabriel a lot of time trying to think up excuses of why he’s having to return home late from international duty. Our initial plan was to use the Rio carnival, but that only takes place at Easter.

“We’re also hoping Arsenal can step up their pursuit of Raphinha from Leeds so Gabriel  can play the “Not feeling loved” card when he’s dropped to the subs bench.”

A close friend of the Brazilian striker also confirmed that he has his heart set on joining the Blaugrana in 2023.

TOKYO, JAPAN – JUNE 06: Gabriel Jesus of Brazil in action during the international friendly match between Japan and Brazil at National Stadium on June 6, 2022 in Tokyo, Japan. (Photo by Kenta Harada/Getty Images)

“Gabby has been a Barcelona fan ever since Ronaldinho played for them – since Ronnie came out of prison he’s been a bit skint, so Gabriel has put in an offer to buy his luxury villa over there.

“His move to Arsenal is only a stepping stone in his career. The main reason he’s left City for Arsenal – apart from the fact that it’s always f***ing raining in Manchester – is the Gunners have a proven track record in being shafted by Barcelona.”

“Henry, Fabregas, Aubameyang… eh, Hleb – the great names who swapped the Gooners the for Nou Camp just roll off the tongue.”

*Paddy Power’s breaking football news coverage is 100% fake news*

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