Breaking: Todd Boehly hands himself Chelsea No.9 shirt

'How hard can it be?'


New Chelsea owner Todd Boehly has handed himself the No.9 shirt as a drastic period of transformation continues at Stamford Bridge.

The 48-year-old billionaire will fill the void left behind by Romelu Lukaku and spearhead Chelsea’s attack in the 2022/23 season. 

Todd Boehly, Co-Founder, Chairman and CEO, Eldridge, speaks during the Milken Institute Global Conference on October 19, 2021 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Patrick T. FALLON / AFP) (Photo by PATRICK T. FALLON/AFP via Getty Images)

It comes after Boehly assumed the roles of club chairman and chief transfer negotiator following the departures of Bruce Buck and Marina Granovskaia from their respective positions.

Boehly will wear the No.9 shirt vacated by Lukaku and heads into the season having never kicked a ball before.

‘Am I the worst player to wear the Chelsea No9 shirt? You’ll have to ask Steven Sidwell that’, Boehly told Paddy Power News.

‘I’ve set myself a target of scoring the same amount of goals that Franco Di Santo did whilst the incumbent of this hallowed jersey’.

‘I’m trying to get into shape for the big kick off but all these leaving dos haven’t helped matters’.


Despite all this, fans groups believe the American philanthropist will be an improvement on Lukaku who returns to Inter Milan after only one-year.

‘It’ll be interesting to see how Boehly’s heat maps compare to Lukaku’s’, tweeted one Chelsea supporter.

‘To be fair, I fancy him to score more goals than Werner this season’, wrote another.

In related news, Boehly has confirmed he’ll also replace outgoing technical and performance advisor Petr Cech who resigned today.


Boehly was spotted at Chelsea’s Cobham training ground this afternoon wearing Cech’s signature scrum cap.

‘Technical and performance advisor? Piece of p*ss’, Boehly told us while testing out his protective helmet by head-butting Cech’s desk.

‘No need for half of these fancy new roles. Technical Advisor. Technical Director. Physio. Sacked him and all this morning. How hard can it be? A bucket of ice-cold water and big yellow sponge. It’s not brain surgery, is it?’

*Paddy Power’s breaking football news coverage is 100% fake news*

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