Transfer Exclusive: Gareth Bale signs deal with LIV Golf tour ​

Fore!

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Gareth Bale is set to seal a dream move to the LIV Golf Tour, Paddy Power News understands.

The 32-year-old is out of contract following a nine-year stint working on his short game at Real Madrid.

Those countless hours on the greens and fairways around the Spanish capital could see him realise his dream of becoming a professional golfer in the coming weeks.

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“He can’t wait to show everyone at Madrid who doubted that his three years on the golf course weren’t worth it,” a source close to the Welsh winger told us.

“He’s even sent Zinedine Zidane a tournament pass to come along and watch.

“And Zizou might even show up if he can plant his noggin on Gareth before he tees off.”

Despite these threats from his former manager, the multiple Champions League winner plans to join the controversial rebel golf competition once he confirms Wales’ World Cup participation won’t interfere with his golfing schedule.

“Sure, Gareth’s scored goals in the Champions League final, but nothing would beat the buzz of carding an opening-round 76 at the Riyadh Invitational in front of one man and his dog.”

“Once he knows he can compete on the tour and it doesn’t clash with Wales group stage exit from Qatar, he’ll be on-board.”

“And they said he could write as many zeroes as he likes on the cheque.”

Funded by Saudi Arabia’s Public Investment Fund, the LIV Golf tour has convinced a bunch of pampered millionaires they’re worth even more than they thought already by offering them each their own private oil well in the Arabian peninsula if they agree to take part in events.

And though several have answered questions about their participation in the tour that would make MPs look open and honest, the inaugural event has teed off with several of the world’s top golfers involved.

“Yes, we have many of the greats – Mike Fickleson, Dyson Bechambro, Justin Tomson, and some other guys – but the tour will only go from strength-to-strength when the other PGA players see the success of our events,” a spokesman said as he repeatedly dialled Tiger Woods’ agent and left increasingly desperate voice message offers to the 15-time major winner.

“Okay, okay, we’ll even throw in the £15.99 Netflix plan – I know there’s f**k all on it, but if you’ve not seen Tiger King it’s worth it…” he was heard saying as he exited the promotional launch.

Though further questions have been raised about the morality of staging these events at all.

“Given the cost in terms of human misery you are potentially causing by putting more golf on television, surely you must have doubts about the ethics of the LIV Golf tour going ahead?” was one particularly pointed question from the assembled media, which several players ignored and instead discussed which yacht they planned on buying once the inaugural tournament finishes.

*Paddy Power News breaking coverage is 100% fake news – honest*

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