Everton have requested to play their Premier League games in hand against the ignominious Derby County side of 2007/08, it has emerged.
Club owner Farhad Moshiri made the emergency appeal to the Premier League after Sunday’s 1-0 home defeat to Wolverhampton Wanderers.
The result leaves The Toffees hovering above the drop zone only on goal difference, though they do have three games in hand over their rivals.
Having accumulated a mere 12 points from their last 21 matches, Moshiri has requested those games be played against a team regarded as the worst ever to grace the Premier League.
‘We’re sh*t’, Moshiri admitted to Paddy Power News.
‘But our sports science department are 89% certain we can get nine points against the ’08 Derby side’.
‘One bloody win all season?’
‘There are teams who’ve gone into administration and finished the season with more points than that Derby side’.
‘The fact most of those lads would be in their late-40s now is also a massive plus for us’.
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As news of the proposal spread, former captain of that infamous Derby side Robbie Savage tweeted:
‘Two words: Bring it on’.
Meanwhile, Everton boss Frank Lampard has backed the club’s decision.
‘I have total confidence in my ability as a manager to keep this club in the Premier League’.
‘No but seriously, I’m out of my depth. Give us three games against Derby’s 2008 side or we’re going down’.
Paddy Power News understands the Premier League are seriously considering Everton’s proposal as they’re desperate to rid the division of Burnley once and for all.
‘While it would be absolutely gas to see Everton relegated, I think everyone connected with the league would agree it’s time Burnley f**ked off back to the Championship’, said Premier League chief executive Richard Masters.
‘Then we can all spare ourselves the indignity of a trip to Turf Moor to watch Sean Dyche orchestrate 90 minutes of head tennis in the p*ssing rain’.
*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% fake news, and that’s the truth – honest*
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