Breaking: FA offer refs anatomy lessons after Everton v Man City VAR handball farce

See that? That's an arm. Say it after me: arm.

VARreviewOct20

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The Football Association has confirmed Premier League referees will attend a new training course entitled ‘Knowing Your Arse From Your Elbow’, which is a series of anatomy lessons teaching them about the human body, Paddy Power understands.

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The decision comes after referee Paul Tierney failed to tell the difference between the arm and chest of Manchester City midfielder Rodri, during their clash with Everton. The official failed to award a glaringly obvious penalty to the Toffees, joining a list of several high-profile blunders made by referees in which they simply had no idea what body part is what.

“Rodri was playing basketball in his own penalty area yet the on-field officials and VAR didn’t pick up on it, so we need to ask ourselves if it went unnoticed or if they simply do not know what an arm is?” confirmed an FA delegate.

 

“VAR was designed to support our officials and help them make the correct decision, however the problem runs a lot deeper if those in charge don’t know the basics of the human anatomy.”

Coming two weeks after Manchester United were eliminated from the FA Cup after Middlesbrough scored a goal set up by a player punching the football, the rise of dodgy decisions has sparked a debate on social media, with several referees’ wives getting involved.

“Paul (Tierney) is a model professional and a fantastic referee, but he does have a problem with remembering body parts” announced his wife on Twitter.

“A few years ago, we went on our honeymoon and when I asked him to hold my hand, he grabbed my earlobe.”

“I thought it was joke at first, until I told him to whisper sweet nothings into my ear and found him talking to my kneecap.

“Apparently it’s rife amongst professional referees with so much pressure on them to get things right, they just forget things they learnt in infant school.”

Mike Dean’s significant other also joined the conversation, offering a slightly different perspective.

“Mike does know the difference between body parts, but he pretends not to. It’s just his way, any chance he gets to be controversial he takes.

“Even when he takes the bins out he deliberately stuffs the recycling full of aeroboard even though he knows you’re not meant to.

“Then he’ll argue with the binmen when they leave it all there. He’ll do anything to ensure he stays at the centre of attention, whether it’s during a match or just around the estate, he doesn’t care,” she said.

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