Man United fans await Sue Gray report into how Harry Maguire cost £80m ​

£80 million. How?


In the wake of Harry Maguire’s performance during Man United’s 1-1 draw with Burnley, the Glazer family and Man United’s new chief executive Richard Arnold are expected to release the findings of Sue Gray’s report into the defender’s £80m transfer from Leicester City in 2019.

United fans are hoping the report will reveal who valued the one-footed sloth-like defender at £80m and why he continues to captain a side including World Cup winners and arguably the greatest footballer of all time.

A limited version of the senior civil servant’s findings is expected to be made public within the next few hours.

‘The report will be published on the club’s official website and made available to fans and the Glazer family will then provide a statement after people have had the opportunity to read and consider the findings’, and Old Trafford spokesperson told Paddy Power News.

Despite supporter outcry for a public inquiry into the baffling move, Maguire was in defiant mood.

‘Apart from getting Varane’s goal chalked off, being at fault for their goal and narrowly avoiding a red card, I thought it was a solid performance,’ he said of his display at Turf Moor.

The 28-year-old defender also dismissed claims he couldn’t pass wind even after being administered with an enema.

‘If you watch the replay, I’ve tried a one-two with the linesman but unfortunately, he’s not on the same wavelength and it’s gone out for a throw’.

A leaked copy of Ms Gray’s report was sent to Paddy Power News HQ and she said:

• There were ‘failures of leadership and judgment at Old Trafford’ and ‘Maguire’s transfer should not have been allowed to take place’

• There was an excessive consumption of alcohol during the transfer negotiations that ‘is not appropriate in a professional workplace at any time’

• Being ‘sh*te all season’ then ‘sticking your fingers in your ears when you score against a glorified ski resort’ is ‘the most cringe thing ever to happen in the history of sport’

*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% fake news, and that’s the truth – honest*


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