Van de Beek hopes to nail down spot on Crystal Palace bench after move ​

Wonder if the Selhurst Park bench is as comfortable as Old Trafford's...


Manchester United mascot Donny van de Beek is said to be “hopeful” that he’ll earn a spot on the Crystal Palace bench should a loan deal be ironed out between the two teams, Paddy Power News understands.

The Dutch midfielder, signed for sh*ts and giggles at a cost of £40m in 2019, has become an integral part of the Red Devils dugout since joining from Ajax.

“He’s like part of the furniture around here now,” one United backroom team member explained when asked about the player’s mooted move to South London.

“When you look along the Old Trafford bench, you think ‘kitbags, water bottle carriers, the iPad Ole was always watching Netflix on during games, Donny van de Beek.

“Seeing it without him will be a bigger shock than the popped balloon that made Fergie sh*t himself.”

“It just won’t be the same without him.”

Now, he must prove his worth at Crystal Palace where competition for places among the subs is as stiff as at any club in the league.

“With Conor Gallagher, James McArthur, Eberechi Eze, Jeffrey Schlupp, Will Hughes, Cheikhou Kouyate all vying for places in the first team, he’ll need to pack his electric blanket,” our Palace source said.

However, there was plenty of praise from his soon-to-be former club for his attitude despite his difficult spell in Manchester.

“He’s always kept his head up, he always tried, he was always there for his teammates – especially when they called Ole a glorified PE teacher or clueless dipsh*t.”

MANCHESTER, ENGLAND – DECEMBER 08: Donny van de Beek of Manchester United battles for possession with Christopher Martins Pereira of BSC Young Boys during the UEFA Champions League group F match between Manchester United and BSC Young Boys at Old Trafford on December 08, 2021 in Manchester, England. (Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images)

“He was always there to listen – and throw in a few insults of his own.”

Though he always remained professional in his work around the club.

“When Ed [Woodward] asked him to be the face of our new Kazakhstani cushion partner deal, he sucked it up, no whining.

“Even when the script demanded he appear to be asleep on the bench during a game, he just got on with it,” a source said.

“He’s had plenty of experience, to be fair.”

Meanwhile, Newcastle United boss Eddie Howe is said to be gutted that the Magpies couldn’t tempt the Dutchman to the North-east.

“The owners even offered to install under-seat heating at St James’ Park just for him, but to no avail,” we were told.

And latest reports suggest they’ll have to make-do with Jesse Lingard instead.

*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% fake news, and that’s the truth – honest*


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