Manchester United fans around the world have joined together to share their delight at the prospect of being knocked out of the Champions League by Atletico Madrid instead of Paris Saint-Germain this coming March.
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With the original selection lining them up against PSG only for UEFA to void the fixtures in controversial fashion due to a monumental f*ck up, the second draw has pitted United against different opposition, albeit one who will deliver the exact same result of exit from the competition.
“A nice away day in Madrid, a few pints of Estrella, beaten up by Spanish policia and a 3-0 loss will be a very special occasion” said one United fan.
“This is what the game is all about. Paying thousands to slag off our captain, boo the players off the pitch and call for Rangnick to be sacked after a humiliating exit from the competition. It’s never happened against Atletico before so it’s brand-new territory that all of us fans are excited to explore.”
Unbeknown as to how footballing authorities could have made such a mess of the first round of fixture selections, a UEFA insider has confirmed not only were United missing from parts of the draw but there were teams such as Harchaster United, Renford Rejects and Arsenal in the mix.
Here’s what the UEFA insider told Paddy Power News during an off-record discussion.
“Not a single f*ck was given today at UEFA HQ. Most of our team had been on the sesh all weekend with the guys from The Fédération Internationale de l’Automobile (FIA), attending parties, doing shots, going to strip clubs, the lot.
“Apparently, there was a wild after-party at 10 Downing Street too. I guess you can say there were a few hazy heads and a lot of harsh comedowns in the team today which explains the errors.
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