UEFA will be raffling off a blue Rover 213, Paddy Power News can exclusively reveal.
The proceeds of the raffle will be used to fix a leaky roof at UEFA headquarters in Nyon, Switzerland.
It follows the draw for the UEFA Champions League Round of 16 which was declared void due to a ‘technical problem’ – that technical problem being they rigged a Ronaldo Vs Messi showdown which was caught live on camera.
Discussing the raffle with Paddy Power News, UEFA president Aleksander Čeferin said:
‘The last raffle I was at was very interesting, because the people who ran the raffle, actually won it!’.
‘So it’s not unusual for that to happen, now and again’.
‘I’ve already bought my ticket. Lucky old number 11’.
In a cruel blow to football fans around the globe, the Champions League redraw means we won’t get to hear the same old Messi Vs Ronaldo arguments over and over again.
‘I can’t believe I won’t get to spend the next two months being asked to ‘heart’ for Messi or ‘like’ for Ronaldo in the comments section of every football thread’, tweeted one distraught fan.
‘It’s an absolute travesty that grown men have been denied the opportunity to write ‘Pessi’ and ‘Penaldo’ in Twitter replies under tweets about the pair’, wrote another.
Meanwhile, meteorologists in Paris have confirmed the gust of wind which ripped through the city was caused by Mauricio Pochettino breathing a huge sigh of relief.
The 49-year-old let out the sigh following UEFA’s decision to redraw the Champions League Round of 16 and prevent him from knocking prospective employers Manchester United out of the competition.
‘Although it would’ve been fun to watch Messi, Neymar and Mbappe running at Harry Maguire, beating United 15-0 on aggregate probably wouldn’t have done my career prospects any favours’.
When asked if there was any other team he would like to get in the new draw, the Argentine said:
‘Barcelona… hahahahahaha. Just kidding. They’re sh*t’.
- Bloke repeatedly mentions Damon Hill in effort to prove his F1 knowledge
- Breaking News: Mike Dean revealed as I’m A Celebrity late arrival
- Liverpool v Aston Villa: Gerrard Anfield return sees half-&-half scarf surge
- Score your Football betting tips and previews at Paddy Power News