Ronaldo opens negotiations with Zidane for Man United manager job ​

CR7's taking charge


Cristiano Ronaldo is in ‘advanced talks’ with Zinedine Zidane about taking over at Man United, Paddy Power News understands.

The Portuguese goal-machine has spent recent days negotiating a package with the Frenchman’s representatives that would see him take the wheel of the no-brakes clown car that is Man United.


Following Portugal’s stunning defeat in World Cup qualifying to Serbia, the 36-year-old is also thought to be searching for a new national team manager too, but his priority is finding the right person, monkey of above-average intelligence, or inanimate carbon rod to replace Ole Gunnar Solskjaer at Old Trafford.

It’s believed Ronaldo was on the verge of instructing the United board to fire Solskjaer prior to the international break until the Norwegian rolled over on his belly, barked with joy and then peed up in the air like a puppy just as Ed Woodward was about to walk him into the woods with a rifle, after which no one had the heart to go through with it.


Since then, a positive response to enquiries from the former Real Madrid chief has seen Ronaldo agree a 2-and-a-half-year deal with the multiple-Champions League-winning coach with an option to terminate after 18 months if the precipitation level in Manchester rises over the time of the contract.

Under the terms of the contract, Zidane will hand over control of the team to “that bald guy who made Fergie sh*t himself with the balloon”, believed to be Mike Phelan, and Cristiano Ronaldo for FA and Carabao Cup matches, Europa League games should there be any, and all games against teams 12th or lower in the Premier League.

And, at the request of his wife, Zidane has also requested that he be allowed to oversee 40% of in-season training sessions via Zoom while he reclines on a poolside lounger in one of his properties in Madrid, Italy or France.

There are even reports that the coach is looking for a United training ground to built in Spain, with the squad spending time in Spain and flying into England for games during the season.

Should the deal be confirmed it is expected to only strengthen Ronaldo’s hand in his bid to takeover from Ed Woodward as the club chief exec, as well as filling the role of Director of Football, chief scout, Facebook page admin and dinner lady in the Carrington canteen.

**Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% fake news. And that’s the truth.**


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