Breaking News: Scott Brown unveiled as new Rangers player-manager ​

Didn't see that coming


Scott Brown has been appointed as Rangers player-manager on a six-year deal, Paddy Power News can exclusively reveal.

The former Celtic midfielder fought off competition from Ibrox favourite Giovanni van Bronckhorst to land the role.


News of Brown’s appointment will come as a major surprise to Rangers fans who spent the week tracking flights from Holland and sharing Van Bronckhorst’s imaginary boarding passes on Twitter.

Rangers announced the signing with a social media video of Brown playing You’ll Never Walk Alone on the piano.

‘Ever since I was a wee boy in my 1998/99 season Rangers kit, I’ve always dreamt of this day’, the 36-year-old told Paddy Power News.

‘Playing in the streets with my pals, I would pretend I was Marco Negri – before Sergio Porrini hit him in the face with a squash ball’.

Rangers Sporting Director Ross Wilson said: ‘Despite repeated trips to Holland we were unable to agree a deal with Giovanni van Bronckhorst’.

‘We made so many short trips on a private jet Greta Thunberg has called a summit’.

‘On the plus side Amsterdam airport had a Pret a Manger and we clocked up some serious air-mile rewards’.

‘Scott will bring a wealth of shithousery to the club and he’s looking forward to a warm Ibrox welcome during our next home game’.

It’s understood Brown’s backroom staff will include Chris Sutton, Rod Stewart, Frank McAvennie, WWE’s Sheamus and Hoopy the Huddle Hound.


Meanwhile, air traffic controllers at Prestwick Aerospace have thanked Rangers fans for their assistance in monitoring Scottish airspace this past week.

‘We couldn’t have done it without you, lads’, said an NATS spokesperson.

‘Area controllers at Prestwick and Swanwick were impressed at the manner in which you were able to provide a safe and expeditious route for aircraft using Twitter only’. 

**Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% fake news. And that’s the truth.**


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