Breaking News: Arsenal give it to Big Sam ‘til end of season ​

Don't panic, Big Sam is here


Arsenal have appointed Sam Allardyce as their new manager until the end of the season, Paddy Power News can exclusively reveal.

Allardyce joins the Gunners along with long-time assistant Sammy Lee with the club 19th in the table with zero points and zero goals scored after two games.


The former England boss has been brought in to save Arsenal from relegation and will be in the stands for Saturday’s drubbing at the hands of Manchester City.

‘Big Sam has a proven track record of keeping sh*te teams in the Premier League’, owner Stan Kroenke told Paddy Power News.

‘And they don’t come much sh*tter than Arsenal Football Club’.

‘With Sam on board, we believe we have given the team its best chance of survival’.

It’s the 12th club of the 66-year-old’s managerial career and he’s delighted to be back in the game.

‘I’ll celebrate tonight with a pint or two of Pinot then tomorrow the hard work starts’, Sam told PPN while rubbing his hands and grinning.

‘I always believed I was capable of managing a top-six side and hopefully, one day, I’ll get that opportunity’.

‘If we’re gonna get ourselves out of this mess, we’re not gonna do it by playing this fancy Dan Tiki-taka boll*cks’.

‘You wanna lump it up to the big man and get on the end of his flick-ons. Bish, bash, bosh. Job’s a good-un’.

‘Right, I’m Hank Marvin. Who fancies a full English?’, he asked, before prematurely ending the press conference.

Meanwhile, Allardyce has wasted no time in improving his squad before the end of the current transfer window by signing Kevin Nolan and Ivan Campo.

It’s also understood the club are still working on deals for Bruno N’Gotty and Jay-Jay Okocha, though both players have requested a relegation release clause in their contracts which is proving to be a stumbling block.

**Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% fake news. And that’s the truth.**



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