‘Arsenal can no longer visit Rwanda if Aubameyang is sold’, says President ​

Sometimes you have to vent


The president of Rwanda has threatened to ban Arsenal from visiting the East African country if they sell captain Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang to Barcelona, it has emerged.


Paul Kagame, whose government has a sponsorship deal with club which includes a ‘Visit Rwanda’ logo emblazoned on the player’s shirts, said selling Aubameyang would be ‘the final straw’.

The 63-year-old took to Twitter last week to vent his frustration after Arsenal lost their opening match of the new Premier League season 2-0 to Brentford.

In a longwinded rant posted shortly after the game, the President said:

‘Cheers Mikel, kids crying now. If you think I’m buying the lovely 3rd kit after a performance like that you’re mistaken. We have the worst defence the world has seen since Len Kachinsky represented Brendan Dassey and told him he’d be home in time for Wrestlemania 22.

“Bring back David Luiz. F**k it, bring back Igor Stepanovs and Pascal Cygan while you’re at it. You got the job on a technicality of having a great head of hair and being best mates with Pep. You are nothing, you are a fool, good night. Going off this thing for a while, if anyone needs me text me.”

However, Kagame reactivated his account this morning when the news broke that Barcelona were interested in signing Aubameyang and Arsenal were interested in selling.

LONDON, ENGLAND - NOVEMBER 28: Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang of Arsenal celebrates after scoring his team's first goal during the UEFA Europa League group F match between Arsenal FC and Eintracht Frankfurt at Emirates Stadium on November 28, 2019 in London, United Kingdom. (Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)

Once again addressing his 2.4M followers, the president tweeted:

‘I’ve just came back on this thing to say if Arsenal sell Auba to that mob in Spain I’m done with them. I mean it this time. How are Barca going to pay for him anyway? Magic f**king beans?

“They’re in more debt than Angola. Hleb, Sylvinho, Vermaelen, Song, Van Bronckhorst, Petit, Overmars, Fabregas, Henry – are we just Barca’s feeder club now?

“Auba leaves and that’s it, I’m burning my new Arsenal duvet, no wait, I’m pulling the £10M sponsorship money.

“In fact, f**k it, they’re banned from visiting Rwanda for life.”

“Anyone know how to delete this thing for good? Bye now.”

Mikel Arteta Arsenal Dundalk October 29, 2020

In other news, Mikel Arteta claims Arsenal’s lack of European football this season will be a good thing for their fans.

‘Our supporters will only have to endure one spirit crushing performance per week instead of the usual two’, explained the Spaniard.

‘Midweeks can be spent laughing at Tottenham playing against some top 5 Lithuanian side in the 3rd tier of European football instead’, he grinned.

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