With Manchester United due to announce the signing of former goalkeeper, Tom Heaton, on 1st July, boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has confirmed that the club’s summer transfer policy will involve recruiting another five former keepers in a bid to win that elusive first piece of silverware.
Thirty-five-year-old Heaton, who left United in 2010 having not made a single first-team appearance, will arrive on a free transfer from Aston Villa, kicking off what appears to be a massive goalkeeping splurge from Solskjaer and the Glazers, with the likes of Tim Howard, Mark Bosnich and Fabien Barthez all linked with moves back to Old Trafford.
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“You all saw the Europa League final, didn’t you? We desperately need options between the sticks,” confirmed the Norwegian.
“It doesn’t matter if Harry Kane is available, our strategy is to focus on goalkeepers who can save penalties, goalkeepers who can score penalties and goalkeepers who can teach other goalkeepers to score and save penalties – and what we really want is somebody who has already been at the club over a decade ago.
“It’s an area where we are really short at the moment, and I think the arrival of Tom fills a big gap. I’ve tried to contact Edwin and Peter but neither of them picks up the phone to me. What would be brilliant is if somebody could connect me to Andy Goram, Ricardo and Raymond van der Gouw as I don’t have any of their phone numbers and can’t find them on LinkedIn or Facebook.
“Though we’ll only approach Massimo Taibi as a last resort.”
A source from within Manchester United recently spoke to Paddy Power News about the potential transfer activity, suggesting the manager has the full backing of the Glazer family.
“Joel Glazer is keen to support Ole and give him exactly what he needs. All of the Glazers want the club full to the brim with United legends. They want them returning as players, they want them in senior management positions, they want them as coaches, they want them in the canteen, on MUTV and driving the team bus.
“I bet you didn’t know that Fred the Red is actually Brian McClair.”
“The Glazers believe that the more legends they have on their payroll, the less there are who can slag them off on TV and social media.
“Joel recently tried to bring Eric Cantona in as an official club ambassador, but apparently the United legend was too busy painting self-portraits using just his bodily fluids to take the call.”
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