Man City prepare for biggest game in their 13 year history ​

Can't they both lose?


On the eve of their Champions League semi-final clash with PSG, a Manchester City insider has said this is the biggest game in the club’s 13-year history and winning the competition before PSG do would be “the icing on the briefcase stuffed with money”.

Since founding the Lancashire club back in 2008, the owners have made no secret of their desire for Champions League success, referring to it as “a very important football cup thingy to show off at our next Oil Kings meet up”.

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“When we created this club, our business plan was simple. Spend sh*t loads more money than everybody else on buying the best players from around the world. Spend sh*t loads of money on recruiting the best manager. Spend sh*t loads of money on expensive gifts for senior UEFA staff to make sure we don’t get in trouble for spending sh*t loads of money,” our source said. “And to increase our Twitter presence and lift the number of supporters into the thousands.”

“So far so good if you ask me.”

While it is not completely clear why there is an urgency from within the club to achieve Champions League success before PSG do, rumours suggest a “stolen business model” could be the root of the problem.

“We spoke to the guys over at TradeMark about ways to prevent other clubs from doing what we do,” continued the City insider. “But as quick as you say ‘financial doping’, PSG were hoovering up all of the best talent with football authorities turning a blind eye.

“They stole our idea and we don’t like it.”

Paddy Power News spoke to co-founder of the Manchester City Supporters Club, Roy Davies, about the upcoming fixture.

“PSG are a disgrace to football” he announced.

“All of their success has been bought which is terrible for the game. They play in a farmer’s league with absolutely zero competition yet spend £100 million on one player!

“It’s absurd how the regulators at Financial Fair Play let them get away with it.”

When asked how he squared this with his own club’s rapid ascent, Mr Davies explained: “It was different with us. I was there in the beginning, with rubbish like Jô and Robinho in the side.

“All 434 of us City fans have done our time and deserve a bit of success. We had Jack Rodwell here, for f**k sake. Give us a break.”

He then returned to complaints about how the French side’s “stadium is never full” and that “they’d be nothing without their sugar daddy owner funding it all.

“Embarrassing club,” he concluded.

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