That thing you used in 2005 to illegally download free stuff is going head-to-head with Spotify in a bid to buy Arsenal, Paddy Power News understands.
After it emerged Spotify owner Daniel Ek had teamed up with Arsenal legends Thierry Henry, Dennis Bergkamp and Patrick Vieira to persuade the Kroenke family to sell the club, the infamous old file-sharing site LimeWire decided to launch a rival bid.
LimeWire will receive assistance from former Gunners stars John Jensen, Igor Stepanovs and Francis Jeffers as they seek to usurp music mogul Ek and his trio of ‘Invincibles’.
It’s understood LimeWire will head a consortium of shite defunct internet companies from the Noughties including BearShare, Ask Jeeves and Bebo.
‘Many Arsenal fans will remember rushing home from school to jump on MSN and chat sh*t about ‘The Invincibles’ while Crank That by Soulja Boy was on LimeWire in the background’, founder Mark Gorton told Paddy Power News.
‘But much like the Gunners, LimeWire peaked around 2004 and ceased to exist since 2010’.
‘Together we can reach the pinnacles of football and file-sharing once again’.
Meanwhile, Francis Jeffers, a stalwart of the Arsenal treatment room during the Noughties, is happy to throw his support behind the bid.
‘Ah, that takes me back!’, said Jeffers wistfully.
‘A quick rub on the Arsenal treatment table then f**king off home in my Bentley to listen to LimeWire while the rest of the lads trained’.
‘The first songs I downloaded? Sk8r Boi by Avril Lavigne and Maneater by Nelly Furtado’, admitted the 40-year-old.
As Ek’s proposed takeover bid gathers momentum, Spotify subscribers woke up this morning to a notification that fees to the service would be increasing.
A message from the Swedish streaming service provider read:
‘As we continue in our efforts to purchase Arsenal Football Club, we regret to inform our subscribers their monthly premiums will be increasing’.
‘This will help cover the costs of Mesut Ozil’s salary, Mikel Arteta’s Brylcreem bill and Gunnersaurus’ unfair dismissal tribunal’.
‘For more info, click the link below, where Lady Gaga will discuss the premium changes and her newfound love for Arsenal FC’.
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