Disgraced former FIFA president Sepp Blatter planned to stage the 2026 World Cup in Antarctica, a new investigation has revealed.
In its findings, world football’s investigatory chamber discovered Blatter was keen on a proposal from bored scientific researchers stationed on the ice-covered region.
The 85-year-old was on the verge of recommending Antarctica’s bid to FIFA members when he was arrested in 2015, the investigation found.
Blatter denies any wrongdoing and claims the Antarctic is ‘the original home of football’.
‘A continent with a rich footballing history such as the Antarctic deserves to host the World Cup’, Blatter told Paddy Power News.
‘Football was finally coming home’.
The ex-FIFA president also dismissed claims the -90 degrees Celsius temperatures would have created dangerous conditions for players.
‘Ensuring the welfare of the players was at the forefront of my mind when I hoped to award the Antarctic the World Cup’.
‘That is why I planned to introduce soup and whiskey breaks, to enable players to take on board some hot fluids during games’.
Blatter also refuted accusations that penguins were being paid just 45p an hour told build new stadiums across the frozen realm.
‘I saw no evidence to suggest working conditions for penguins were poor’, he claimed.
‘The scientists assured me both the penguins and seals were treated well. They even gave me a beautiful fur coat on behalf of the seals which I’m told was a token of their appreciation’.
Despite maintaining his innocence, Blatter was given a new suspension of six years and eight months by FIFA yesterday.
‘I’ve never done anything improper in my life’, he said, while nervously adjusting his tie made entirely from gold.
When asked what a future away from football looked like for the former FIFA boss, Blatter said:
‘It’s always been my dream to get involved in Russian politics’.
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