Cavani rules himself out of United’s Milan game with paper cut ​

Pull your self together man!



Edinson Cavani has withdrawn from the Manchester United squad travelling to Milan after suffering a ‘career-threatening’ paper cut.

The Uruguayan was due to feature for the Red Devils in the second leg of their last-16 Europa League tie but sliced his finger on a £50 note in training.

Cavani has been battling for fitness in recent weeks having sustained a series of injuries including a sprained finger nail and a dislocated eyelash.

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It’s a huge blow for United boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer whose side need to score in the San Siro if they’re to progress to semi-finals before shitting the bed.

‘Unfortunately, it looks like Edinson has opened up the tip of his finger while fanning himself with a wad of fifties’, confirmed the Norwegian.

‘It was pissing blood. I told him to suck his finger until the bleeding stopped but Edinson said he wanted to go home’.

‘I’m not sure if he meant he was heading back to the hotel or South America? Either way, he was out of here like he stole something’, added the 48-year-old.


Cavani was spotted leaving Carrington this morning with an Elastoplast on the injured finger after receiving medical treatment at the recently renamed ‘Phil Jones Suite’.

United are yet to reveal the full extent of the injury and it remains to be seen whether the paper cut will rule the striker out for the remainder of the season.

However, the former PSG ace gave fans a glimmer of hope by posting a pic of the damaged digit to Instagram along with the caption: ‘I will come back stronger’.

Manchester United’s Head of Sports Medicine and Science, Dr Step O’Scope, told Paddy Power News:

‘With paper cuts, it’s hard to say how long he’ll be out’.

‘If he can keep nose-picking and arse-scratching to a minimum, it should accelerate his recovery time’.

Meanwhile, Solskjaer confirmed Donny van de Beek has recovered from a muscle injury to bolster United’s ranks of unused substitutes tonight.


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