Following his sensational exit from Good Morning Britain, celebrity Arsenal fan Piers Morgan could land on his feet with a new consultancy role at his beloved club – having offered himself the job of advisor to manager Mikel Arteta.
The full-of-himself – or should that be full-of-it – broadcaster, journalist and pound shop Cowell will advise manager Mikel Arteta on everything he’s doing wrong at the Emirates in the position he’s invented for himself.
The 55-year-old was delighted to have agreed terms with himself after an interview that lasted less than five seconds.
‘”Who’s better qualified to advise Arsenal on the direction of the team and the club than me?” I asked myself, and the answer seemed obvious to me. Me.’ the outspoken Gooner said.
He confirmed that communication channels between the club, manager and himself were open – ‘Mikel can follow me whenever he wants on Twitter.”
“I don’t think he’s blocked me yet, anyway.”
Though the controversial commentator confirmed that the club had yet to engage with discussion of a contract for his services.
“Obviously, it’s only been a day, and I’ve been too busy seething to make a full proposal to the club.”
However, sources within Arsenal suggest the offer may not be welcomed by the club.
“There are no vacancies at the moment.”
“We’ve just unloaded one over-active Tweeter with an inflated image of his worth in Mesut Ozil, you think we need another one?”
Though our source did think there might be some position for the former Good Morning Britain star at the Emirates.
“I could see him as a steward at games when fans return – we’ll need someone to shush supporters when they get too excited.”
“And now Ozil’s gone the bloke in the Gunnersaurus costume is out again. Piers could volunteer to fill in as the club mascot – If he can fit his swelled head in the furry suit.”
Though Mr Morgan, needn’t lose all hope of making a living from Arsenal.
“Mr Morgan would be an ideal candidate to join our team,” a spokesman from fan channel AFTV said.
“Though he’ll need to work on his furious ranting if he’s to upstage our regulars.”
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