Lyle Lanley wows Barcelona members with Monorail plan ​

It could really put them on the map!


Barcelona believe a Monorail around the perimeter of their Nou Camp stadium could be the answer to their financial issues.

Several arrests were made by Catalan police on Monday after an investigation into the financial dealings of the Spanish giants.

With elections of the club’s next president taking place on Sunday, surprise candidate Lyle Lanley is hoping to sway the vote with his Monorail proposal.

BARCELONA, SPAIN – MARCH 13: General view of the stadium prior to the UEFA Champions League Round of 16 Second Leg match between FC Barcelona and Olympique Lyonnais at Nou Camp on March 13, 2019 in Barcelona, . (Photo by Maja Hitij/Getty Images)

The charismatic salesman bowled over Barcelona’s members with a musical number explaining all the benefits of a Monorail.

‘By the end of the pitch, all the Socios were singing along to Mr Lanley’s song about how wonderful the monorail is’, one club source told Paddy Power News.

 ‘The rail will go around the Nou Camp, meaning passengers will board and be dropped off outside the stadium.

‘He told us he’s sold many Monorails and to many great clubs. In fact, just last week Ed Woodward paid him $3 million in cash to build a monorail around Old Trafford’, added the source.

LISBON, PORTUGAL – AUGUST 14: Lionel Messi of FC Barcelona looks dejected after his team concede during the UEFA Champions League Quarter Final match between Barcelona and Bayern Munich at Estadio do Sport Lisboa e Benfica on August 14, 2020 in Lisbon, Portugal. (Photo by Manu Fernandez/Pool via Getty Images)

We caught up with Lanley to discuss the upcoming elections and the blond con artist was in buoyant mood.

‘You know, a football club with money’s a little like the mule with a spinning wheel. No one knows how they got it and danged if they know how to use it’, he grinned while stirring a martini.

When asked how he managed to sell the idea to the Barcelona members, Lanley explained:

‘Simple really. I just told them it was more of a Real Madrid idea’.

Lanley finds himself on the final ballot along with 2003-2010 president Joan Laporta, former Leeds United chairman Peter Ridsdale, Victor Von Doom and Ming the Merciless.

If successful in his election bid, Lanley revealed he plans to spend ‘a few weeks’ recuperating in Tahiti.

‘I’ve booked a direct flight with absolutely no unscheduled stops in Brockway, Ogdenville and North Haverbrook’, said Lanley.


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