Gareth Bale can still be useful for Spurs – here’s how ​

He can definitely help the lads work on their short game...

Gareth Bale Tottenham Hotspur Royal Antwerp October 2020


Gareth Bale’s return to the Premier League may not have lived up to expectations with the Welsh winger arriving back on-loan at Spurs in the summer to a rapturous fanfare, but so far his performances on the pitch have been more like the equivalent of a wet fart.

But anybody who thinks Gareth’s set to pack his golf bags and clubs up and head straight back to Madrid at the end of the campaign can think again because the 31-year-old has confided to close friends that he will be “pulling an Ozil” and staying in North London regardless.

Gareth Bale

Paddy Power sources can confirm that Bale has already had a heart-to-heart, no-filter chat with Spurs captain Harry Kane, who is also understood to be keen to keep the Madrid outcast at the club as he hasn’t got time to organise the club’s annual golf day and Bale “will have plenty of time on his hands between now and May.”

Having only made seven appearances in the Premier League this season so far – five as a substitute – it seems Bale will spend the majority of the final third of the current campaign sorting out tee-off times rather than sticking the ball in the opponents net as Spurs inevitably miss out on the Champions League places.

Also, following the success of Spurs’ streaming series All or Nothing (but mainly Nothing) on Amazon Prime, the media giant is understood to be keen on linking up with the London club for further shows – and could use Bale as the star attraction.

We’ve discovered one of the ideas at the top of their agenda is a spin-off show titled “Bale Out!” where Gareth travels around the UK helping flood victims in their fight for compensation.

According to Amazon, the show MUST include Bale, travelling in a dinghy down a high street with an old lady and her terrier with fire crews wading past them.

It’s understood the club is willing to allow the player the time to undertake these media commitments, though it has been stressed that the multiple Champions League winner must be available to give motivational talks to the Spurs academy players about how you should work hard to become one of the most sought-after players in the world before earning enough money to basically turn round and say f**k it and spend more time bringing down your golf handicap than looking at the results from your heat map which, has looked more like a satellite view of the Arctic Circle recently.

Exec Daniel Levy and the Tottenham board have also been looking for ways to save money with a billion-pound stadium still to pay for and one of the ideas being mooted for next season is doing away with the team bus and getting the players to car-share to away games instead.

MANCHESTER, ENGLAND – APRIL 25: Cristiano Ronaldo (L) and Gareth Bale (R) listen to Zinedine Zidane manager of Real Madrid during a Real Madrid training session on the eve of their UEFA Champions League semi final first leg match against Manchester City at the Etihad Stadium on April 25, 2016 in Manchester, United Kingdom. (Photo by Dave Thompson/Getty Images)

Since arriving back in the UK, Bale is reported to have bought at least six 4×4 vehicles and his chairman is understood to have approached him to ask if he would be prepared to drive some of the squad to games as there would be plenty of room to fit the back-four in one of them whilst leaving ample room for luggage. Come the start of the 2021-22 campaign, the club hopes players, where possible, will pull into the motorway services and kip in their cars rather than in a hotel, explaining that they would still be able to get a take-away sandwich from Upper Crust.

Levy is also aware that Bale’s omission from Zinedine Zidane’s Real Madrid squad gave the player plenty of chance to return home to see family and friends so has struck a deal that allows Bale to stay at Spurs for another 12 months in return for air-miles so the Spurs chairman can clear off to warmer climes at a moments notice.


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