Exclusive: Spurs cancel order for ‘Top 4 2020/21’ commemorative keyrings ​

Really wanted a Tottenham top-4 toilet roll holder. Sad times.


Tottenham Hotspur have cancelled an advance order for “Top-4 finish 2020/21” memorabilia after a social media backlash, it has emerged.

The decision to nix the deal on securing a Champions League place should they, somehow, turn around the nosediving blimp that is their season was made after the club revealed a range of tat commemorating their “Carabao Cup Finalists 2020/21” status this week.

The range of pens, keyrings, mousemats and coasters was mocked by rival and Spurs fans alike.

“Even by the limited ambitions of a club that has won two league titles ever and puts out a commemorative DVD for losing the Champions League final, memorialising a top-4 finish with club-branded staplers, keyrings and toilet-seats was always going to be a tough sell,” an internal club memo admitted.

With a new state-of-the-art stadium to pay for, Tottenham have been one of the clubs hit hardest by the pandemic, being forced to cancel numerous events including NFL games, concerts and cheese-tasting festivals at their new ground.

Selling any-old-sh*te with a Spurs badge stuck on it has been seen as one way to alleviate the financial impact, however, the club has decided top-4 celebratory pencil-cases would be a step too far.

“After surveying the fanbase and social reaction to the Carabao Cup Commemoration range – a stunning 54.6% of all engagements on the merchandise this week featured the term ‘spurslol’ or ‘lolspurs’ – we decided the time was not right to advance with the plans for a fullscale top-4 commemorative strategy.”

“Plus, there’s no way we’re getting top-4 anyway. We’re sh*te.”

It’s a further blow to the North London club, as their merchandising department was already under pressure having been reprimanded by consumer watchdogs when they tried to sell Tottenham-branded bottles despite having Spurs none.

However, hopes are high that the club’s “Carabao Cup Runners-up 2020/21” will more than make up for any shortfall in sales when they lose to Man City in April’s final.

Elsewhere, there is reason for optimism on the pitch, as Gareth Bale should be back in shape and ready to play soon.

“Gareth’s looking great in training,” a source confirmed.

“He’s really hitting the gym hard. He’ll be in great shape around April or May to start hitting the links courses over the summer.”


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