Dermot Gallagher reveals he was Oul’ Mr Brennan all along

Who's the baker in the black?

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Shockwaves spread through the football world today following the revelation that former Premier League official and frequent TV analyst Dermot Gallagher is in fact a true blue Dub –  and not just any Dubliner, but Oul’ Mr Brennan himself.

Familiar to football fans from his years of getting covered in phlegm by irate Manchester United players like it was gunge on Noel’s House Party, Gallagher stunned listeners to Off The Ball’s Football Show on Newstalk as he delivered his thoughts in a brogue that would be more at home on Hill 16 in September than Wembley Way in May.

“Shur, if I were talking like meself on the telly over there they wouldn’t have a Scoody-doo what I was saying,” the ref confessed. “I’ve to talk like a proper knob for them to understand.”

The 63-year-old explained how he’d developed a love for the beautiful game as a child in Dublin, and that set him on his path to the top of the refereeing game.

“Ah Jaysus, didn’t I only get the tram down to Glenmalure to watch the Rovers every week when I was a chiseller?”

“Me and Bang Bang and Ronnie Drew drinking bottles of TK red lemonade for one-and-sixpence, and then it’d be off down the canal for a bowl of coddle or up to Christchurch to Burdocks and then bed,” he recalled.

And the now-retired ref told of how he still gets “a grueller” when he’s back in Ireland.

“Whenever I’m home I get nothing but dogs abuse from bowsies and gurriers for talking proper on the telly, but the slagging is water off a duck’s arse to me after taking so much abuse from football crowds,” Gallagher revealed.

Though he’s used his hidden voice talents to pursue other career paths too.

“Brennan’s bread ads, oul’ Mr Brennan, that’s meself and another fella. We just have a few pints of gargle and talk about the craic we had in the oul’ days and he writes it up for the ads.”

And he has high hopes for the future.

“I just missed out on the Carbon Monoxide alarm gig – they gave it to some canary because he could play the banjo as well, but there’s plenty of things coming up.

“And Fair City are always looking for people”.

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