Man City buy 15th trophy of Sheikh Mansour’s reign ​

Far more efficient than players, matches and all of that stuff


Manchester City owner Sheik Mansour has added the oldest version of the FA Cup to the ever bourgeoning collection of trophies he’s bought since acquiring the club in 2008.

It’s been reported Sheikh Mansour paid £760,000 for the Football Association Challenge Cup trophy – a pittance compared to the £1.5 billion he shelled out for the club’s four Premier League trophies.

Since buying City an FA Cup back in 2011, the 50-year-old has splashed out on a further 14 trophies for the Manchester outfit.

Discussing his latest purchase with Paddy Power News, Sheik Mansour told us:

‘It’s just good business sense. Instead of spending £300 million on a shite defence and then try to win a trophy – just buy the bloody trophy instead. Huge savings’.

‘How many trophies could I have bought instead of Wilfred Bony? At least 3 Charity Shields and a Carabao Cup’.

The Sheikh also revealed how he’s turning his attention to trophies of the past in a bid to make it appear as though City had any sort of history prior to 2008.

‘Many of our supporters will not remember the club’s achievements before 2008 because they were supporting Chelsea at the time’.

‘So it’s important we buy them a history they can be proud of’.

‘This trophy is just the beginning of a glorious past I’ll be fabricating with oil money’.

Despite being immensely proud of the trophies he’s bought so far; the Sheikh admits there is one glaring omission from his private collection.

‘They won’t let me buy the Champions League. No matter how much I f**king offer them’.

‘I really wish FIFA run the competition instead. It would make things a lot easier’.

‘I mean, they sold a World Cup to Qatar.’

Meanwhile, FIFA have confirmed that the 2026 World Cup which was originally scheduled to take place in Canada, Mexico and the USA will now take place on the sparsely inhabited desert planet of Tatooine following a last-minute bid from His Excellency Jabba the Hutt.

Laughing off accusations of piracy and slavery, Jabba told Paddy Power News:

‘Football sa coming bunky dunko’, or ‘football is coming home’ translated from Huttese.

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