We’ve received reports that Chelsea captain-for-life and lionhearted defender™ John Terry has turned up at Chelsea training in full-kit this afternoon after seeing Petr Cech included in their Premier League squad for the season.
The former England skipper pulled into the Cobham complex on Friday afternoon wearing the latest Chelsea kit, including name, number and Premier League badges, asking what time the coach was leaving for Manchester.
“Pete’s back, I’m back, Didier saying he’s in – c’mon we do these Manc w**kers!”
“Any penalties, I’m taking them.”
Boss Frank Lampard broke away from a lengthy session working on not conceding goals from every second corner to explain to his old teammate that the Cech signing was an emergency measure.
“We’ve just brought in Thiago Silva, JT. That’s enough clapped out old centre-halves for this season,” he joked. “But seriously, Pete’s only here cos of the state of our keepers.”
“If you’ve brought a pair of gloves we might have a spot for you.”
“But seriously, no. We don’t.”
However, the determined ex-Blue wasn’t taking no for answer, and forced his way onto the field before Roman Abramovich’s private security guards turned up to take him away in a black tinted-window SUV.
The return of the former Czech international has also created a selection headache for the Blues boss after new shotstopper Edouard Mendy let a bowl of salad slip in the club canteen.
The recent signing from Rennes was collecting a bulghur wheat and radicchio mix from the training facility when the plastic container fell from his grasp.
“Don’t want to do that on Saturday” the manager joked as Mendy picked up the bowl, to howls of laughter from those around.
And, after the peals or mirth subsided, he continued, “But seriously, you don’t.”
“Can you get Petr on the blower, Jody? Tell him to bring his boots, yeah?”
Lampard explained his thinking later at the pre-match press conference.
“It starts with little mistakes,” the 42-year-old said, “and then it’s clangers in big games.”
“Why’d you think all the mugs were covered in bubble wrap at Cobham, eh? Kepa was smashing so many of them.
“When he ‘borrowed’ mine – he just took it really – and it turned up with a broken handle, that was final straw.”
The Blues boss was said to be pleased with the Senegalese international’s start at the club because his two cleansheets in his first two games means no one is looking at Chelsea’s shambolic defensive record under Lampard, but Friday’s lapse has caused second thoughts.
“Edouard’s a good lad, he’s done well – better than Kepa anyway. Not hard, I’ll admit,” he laughed.
“But seriously, if you make mistakes like that in training – or after training even – it can creep into your game. I’ve seen it happen players – not me of course.
“One minute JT’s chatting with your girlfriend at a club function, the next…” he trailed off.
Chelsea face Man United on Saturday evening at 5.30pm, with the winning manager set to earn the title of “best Premier League manager who wouldn’t get a job in the League One if he wasn’t an official club legend.”
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