Breaking: Shane on Whatsapp ‘confirms’ Robbie Keane Ireland return

If someone says it on Whatsapp it must be true, right?


In the wake of Ireland’s heartbreaking penalty shootout defeat to Slovakia, your mate’s mate Shane who was in college with a lad whose da is high up in the FAI has said on Whatsapp that some of Ireland’s greatest players will make a stunning return to the international fold – including Robbie Keane.

According to the widely shared messages, the FAI believe they are “f**ked” without European Championship qualification, and the only hope for the team and organisation is to get some Irish greats of the past to come out of retirement, the record international goalscorer being one of them.

Football Soccer – Italy v Republic of Ireland – EURO 2016 – Group E – Stade Pierre-Mauroy, Lille, France – 22/6/16
Republic of Ireland’s Robbie Brady celebrates after scoring their first goal
REUTERS/Gonzalo Fuentes

“There’s complete panic. Complete shit show. They want to get Robbie back cos at least he’ll score the tap-ins against Gibraltar still even if he slower than Harry Maguire with blocks on his feet at this stage”, he said.

“And if they make a balls of submitting the covid list again they’ll need anyone they can get.”

And those in charge have apparently reached out far and wide.

“They’re talking to everyone, Duffer, Richard Dunne, Niall Quinn – Caleb Folan’s said to be keen.”

“They messaged Roy Keane but his agent sent back one of those pics he takes with lads who ask him for photos on the street looking miserable and the FAI badge photoshopped onto the fellas head lol”.

“They even tracked down Joey Lapira to the shoe shop he works in now. That’s how desperate they are.”

However, some online have disputed the credibility of your mate’s mate Shane who was in college with a lad whose da is high up in the FAI.

They claim that the ex-internationals have been invited back by the organisation, but only to contribute to fundraiser for the association.

In recent month the FAI has had to pawn the pot they had to p*ss in, while also allowing the lease to lapse on the apartment for the CEO in south county Dublin with the window they had to throw it out of.

“The Ireland team is desperate for goals – I’d take Tony Cacarino back now if he could sort out that passport thing – but the FAI is more desperate for cash,” said one commenter on twitter.

While another said, “I knew that Whatsapp was bollox when it said Stephen Ireland could be back – do you think his granny would take that chance with everything going on? Would she f**k”.

When contacted for comment that his story was in fact complete rubbish, Shane left the message on read this morning. More as we get it.


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