Paddy’s no-bullsh*t transfer talk: Auba and out at Arsenal?

Smell that? No? Exactly, it's the smell of no-bullsh*t.


DISCLAIMER: While Paddy will make every effort to sift all traces of bullsh*t from the daily transfer rumours, we accept no liability should a steaming pile of grade A manure be found in the following piece

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That’s Aub, Folks!

Honestly, a headline writer’s dream, though, sadly, reports reach us today that Gabonese’s days of gracing the back-pages of the puntastic Premier League papers in the UK and Ireland could be numbered.

And, with the idea of ridiculous word-play in newsprint becoming increasingly antiquated, it seems only fitting that Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang should choose to decide his future based on the result of a competition which was much bigger back in the day.

Yes, that’s right, for reasons that seem tenuous at best – is the Europa League really much more of a draw when Champions League furniture like Barcelona and Inter are hanging around in the online Ikea basket that is your list of potential new clubs? – the 31-year-old, who is out-of-contract at the Emirates next summer, will decide his future, or have it decided for him, by the Gooners’ clash with Chelsea on Saturday evening.


Another way of putting it is that Arsenal will be very keen to sell the goal-machine striker for whatever they can get should they fail to qualify for Europe for the first time since your da had hair. It’s an outcome that would make the most sense for everyone involved (and would’ve probably made more financial sense in January, as Arsenal never looked like Champions League contenders), despite the anguished wailing that will emanate from fans when it comes to pass.

Hart over (Park)head

It did the trick for Brendan Rodgers, but can a move north of the border save what’s left of Joe Hart’s career?

The former England number one could be fronting-up in customary style when he lets them slip through his fingers at Fir Park and Pittodrie this season by making a move to Scottish champions-in-perpetuity, Celtic, having been let go by Burnley.

The 33-year-old still has ambitions of playing at the top level, so a morale-boosting stint in the SPL might be just what the goalkeeping coach ordered.

The only problem? Well, Celtic just signed a new keeper, Vasilios Barkas from AEK Athens for £4.5m, which suggests Hart could once again find himself stuck on the bench – and in the SPL – if he were to make a move to Glasgow, so forget it. Time to focus on the Championship – or League One – Joe.

Alaba palaver

David Alaba played under Pep Guardiola for Bayern Munich. David Alaba would like a new contract.

Hmmm, how to use these two pieces of information to bring the latter about?

There are reports today of talks between the player and club stalling because of the Austrian defender’s wage demands, and that City are on the alert as a result.

Expect this to drag for a few weeks before, magically, all the hurdles are jumped and he signs a new deal while City settle for Nathan Ake to partner Aymeric Laporte next season.

Who’s on the move this summer? Get the latest transfer odds at

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What do you think?