After 30 years of hurt, Liverpool fans are finally safe to stop dreaming – as the club has claimed its first league championship since 1990, albeit in very unusual circumstances.
But make no mistake, their triumph won’t be ‘asterisked’ out of existence, the Reds ARE champions this year and not even the bitterest United supporter can take it away from them now.
The journey to their maiden Premier League title has been a long and arduous one for the Reds. Three decades is a pretty long wait in anyone’s books to experience the ultimate domestic glory once again.
So to put that epic time span into context, step aboard our whistle stop tour of world history since Kenny Dalglish last guided the club to the very top of English football…
1991: The Cold War ends
The Soviet Union was very much still a thing when Liverpool were last champions, but it wasn’t long afterwards that those representing a very different red flag saw their powers similarly wane. The Cold War ended with the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991, and it’s somewhat fitting that the rise of modern Russia is now in sync with the Reds’ recent revival. Vladimir Putin has to be involved somewhere…
Title winners: Arsenal
1992: Mohamed Salah is born
Arguably the most important moment in Liverpool’s club history, as the man who would eventually go on to fire them to Premier League glory skillfully dribbles his way out of his mother’s womb with remarkable finesse and close control. Probably.
Title winners: Leeds United
1993: Doom is released
Just when Liverpool fans were enduring their own version of hell as they saw Man Utd become champions of the inaugural Premier League season, they were able to step inside another version of it on Mars in a genre-defining first-person shooter game. Blowing demons apart must have been pretty cathartic for them.
Title winners: Man Utd
1994: Friends starts
The sitcom which gave us almost as many laughs as Roy Hodgson’s ill-fated stint in the Anfield dugout kicked off its 10-year run. Coincidentally back in February the show confirmed a highly anticipated reunion, but we can’t see Liverpool making a similar offer to the former England manager.
Title winners: Man Utd
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLisEEwYZvw
1995: The internet kicks off
Internet access hit the mainstream as unknown companies like Amazon and eBay opened their digital doors for the first time. Although the world wide web still had a way to go before #YNWA could start trending whenever anyone remotely connected to Liverpool does anything whatsoever.
Title winners: Blackburn Rovers
1996: Dolly the sheep is cloned
Professor Frink style science took a step into reality as Dolly the sheep became the first mammal to be successfully cloned. Rumours that Liverpool are investing millions into researching how their current squad can be similarly duplicated are (currently) unfounded.
Title winners: Man Utd
1997: Deep Blue beats Kasparov
Artificial intelligence took a giant leap forward when chess-playing computer Deep Blue became the first system to beat reigning world champion Garry Kasparov in May 1997. Such tactical intelligence unfortunately didn’t stretch to the Reds that same month, as they lost to Wimbledon and drew with Sheffield Wednesday.
Title winners: Man Utd
1998: Viagra is approved for use
For the very first time, Viagra was made available to the general public for the treatment of male impotence. Despite this, it still took Liverpool some three years to finally achieve a semi, with success coming in the form a treble cup-winning season in 2001.
Title winners: Arsenal
1999: Napster is released
The MP3 file sharing service transformed the media landscape when it arrived on the internet in 1999. The mind boggles to think how many pirated copies of You’ll Never Walk Alone were nabbed in the Liverpool region of the country.
Title winners: Man Utd
2000: Big Brother launched
Reality TV changed forever when Big Brother hit screens in summer 2000. Scouser Craig Phillips spent 64 days in the house but unfortunately for him, Liverpool were just as sh*t when he came out as they were when he went in.
Title winners: Man Utd
2001: Shrek hits cinemas
The green ogre, voiced by Liverpool superfan Mike Myers, became a box office smash in the cinemas. Years later it also set records for DVD sales in the Liverpool area when the titular character’s resemblance to a certain Wayne Rooney tickled Reds fans everywhere.
Title winners: Man Utd
2002: The euro enters circulation
After decades of planning, euro notes and coins were introduced in 11 EU member countries on 1 January 2002. It’s a currency Liverpool’s genius transfer gurus have become very familiar with over the years; €20million for Lazar Markovic, anyone?
Title winners: Arsenal
2003: Cristiano Ronaldo makes Man Utd debut
In the ensuing 17 years, CR7 won three Premier Leagues, has become the world’s most expensive footballer and scored over 620 goals. Not bad for a player who was turned down by then-Liverpool boss Gerard Houllier, eh?
Title winners: Man Utd
2004: Arsenal go the season unbeaten
The Gunners became the first English team to go through an entire league season undefeated since Preston North End did it 115 years previous. Liverpool looked like they might go all the way too after dropping just two points all season – until losing 3-0 away at relegation-threatened Watford at the end of February.
Title winners: Arsenal
2005: Lance Armstrong wins his seventh Tour de France
Not long after Liverpool beat some team from Italy in Istanbul, the inspirational and legendary cyclist Lance Armstrong won his seventh and final Tour de France title before slipping into retirement as a hero. Whatever happened to him, we wonder?
Title winners: Chelsea
2006: Paul McCartney and Heather Mills break up
The former Beatle separated from his second wife in the summer of 2006. It was to be the second most upsetting split the city of Liverpool encountered that year, just behind Florent Sinama Pongolle’s departure to Recreativo. Ahem.
Title winners: Chelsea
2007: The iPhone is launched
Apple revolutionised the mobile phone, transforming them from a device used to make calls and play Snake into a fully-fledged on-the-go computer. Most importantly, the iPhone was to allow Liverpool fans to easily film themselves singing mad things like this:
Title winners: Man Utd
2008: The Large Hadron Collider was switched on
It was feared the world’s largest and most powerful particle accelerator would inadvertently end the world by creating a small black hole, but no such scenario ever materialised. Although we bet Liverpool fans wished it did as they witnessed Man Utd win a Premier League and Champions League double.
Title winners: Man Utd
2009: Kanye West hijacks Taylor Swift’s awards speech
A painfully cringeworthy moment, sure, but nowhere near as embarrassing as the time a Liverpool spokesman had to face the press and admit they’d just dropped £20m on Alberto Aquilani just weeks before.
Title winners: Man Utd
2010: Iceland’s volcanic ash cloud happened
Air travel throughout Europe ground to a halt in April when a series of volcanic eruptions at Eyjafjallajökull (try saying that after a couple of shandies) in Iceland created an ash cloud. It risked playing havoc with Liverpool’s European campaign, but fortunately they were still able to make it out to Atletico Madrid for a 1-0 semi-final defeat in the Europa League.
Title winners: Chelsea
2011: Charlie Sheen was bi-winning
The Two And A Half Men actor’s increasingly erratic behaviour garnered him countless headlines, but it was when he claimed the Reds could be Premier League champions that season that everyone knew something was most definitely wrong.
Title winners: Man Utd
2012: The greatest Premier League final day ever
The world saw the most unbelievable end to the title race unfold as Sergio Aguerooooo’s last-gasp goal ensured City finished top of the pile. Meanwhile, over in Wales, Liverpool clinched a mighty 8th-placed finish despite falling to a 1-0 defeat at the hands of Brendan Rodgers’ Swansea. Levels.
Title winners: Man City
2013: A monkey went shopping in IKEA on his own
And he did it in a super chic parka. We just thought it was worth everyone remembering that this happened.
Title winners: Man Utd
2014: The Ice Bucket Challenge became a thing
And Brendan Rodgers showed magnificent character and tremendous spirit by giving it a go, obviously:
Title winners: Man City
2015: Sepp Blatter steps down
The extent of the level of corruption at FIFA is laid bare, leading to the resignation of villain-in-chief Sepp Blatter. The entire sorry affair also witnessed the only half-funny thing the comedian behind Lee Nelson has ever done…
Title winners: Chelsea
2016: Leicester City’s title miracle
Approximately 128 gallons of Blue WKD were inhaled round Jamie Vardy’s house as Leicester City were confirmed as champions in a miracle season for the Foxes. Starting the season at 5,000-1 to win the title, they had just as much chance in achieving it as Liverpool had.
Title winners: Leicester City
2017: Article 50 is triggered
The UK’s relationship with the EU has changed immeasurably since 1990, and irreversibly since they triggered Article 50 to begin the process of officially leaving Europe. Sadly Liverpool didn’t get a chance to do their own version of exiting Europe given they didn’t even qualify for any continental competition in 2016/17.
Title winners: Chelsea
2018: Salt Bae met Mohamed Salah
Recently catapulted into internet stardom, Salt Bae risked the wrath of Reds supporters (a very easy thing to do) by deciding the best time to grab a photo with Mohamed Salah would be as he nurses a dislocated shoulder moments after Liverpool lost the Champions League final. How very thoughtful.
https://twitter.com/nusr_ett/status/1000506157507674112
Title winners: Man City
2019: Liverpool somehow finish second
The Reds lost just once in the league in 2018/19, accumulated 97 points (just three shy of the all-time record Man City set the previous year), yet still inexplicably managed to miss out on Premier League glory. Amusing as it was to witness fans’ disbelief, it looks like their most agonisingly close call has finally broken their league championship curse…
Title winners: Man City
2020: Liverpool finally win the league again
In what is undoubtedly the most hard to believe event of the lot, Liverpool are finally able to call themselves champions of England once more, 30 long years since they last had that privilege. Expect calls for Jurgen Klopp to be knighted and the Allez Allez Allez song to be more unbearable than ever before. At least it won’t happen again until 2050…
Title winners: Liverpool
30 YEARS BY THE NUMBERS
- 7 – different UK prime ministers
- 5 – different US presidents
- /33 – new countries have been established
- 19 – different iPhone models released
- 6 – different FIFA World Cup winners
- 7 – different clubs have won the English top-flight
- 8 – different people have managed Liverpool
- 2,300,000,000 – rise in the world’s population
- 2,500,000,000 – number of people who have signed up to Facebook
- 300% – rise in the cost of a litre of petrol
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