Souness flies into rage after Pogba has temerity to breathe

Sky Sports pundit Graeme Souness has launched a blistering attack on Paul Pogba after the Manchester United midfielder breathed, it has emerged.

The ex-Scotland midfielder was reportedly outraged after the 27-year-old World Cup winner had the ‘audacity’ to bring in oxygen and flush out carbon dioxide.

In a recent Q&A with the Sunday Times, the former Liverpool, Blackburn and Newcastle manager gave a withering assessment of the Frenchman’s recent gas exchange.

‘Pogba has absolutely everything to be a top player – but the way he brings air into his lungs bugs the sh*te out of me’, barked the 66-year-old.  ‘The way he inhales oxygen tells me he wants to be the star of the show. If I were his manager, I’d be telling him to keep breathing to a minimum’.

‘Look at that smile on his face, it’s almost as if he’s enjoying flushing out that carbon dioxide’, raged the Scot. However, it didn’t take long for the £89M social media influencer to hit back.

‘Graeme who?’, smirked Pogba while doing keepy-ups in a Liverpool jersey. ‘Oh, you mean the guy from the 80s with the dodgy perm and tash? I’m not someone who watches a lot of punditry because, well, they talk sh*te. Take Jamie Redknapp for example. The guy says ‘literally’ before every statement’.

Meanwhile, Manchester United boss Ole Gunner Solskjaer has leapt to the defence of his player and emphasised the midfielder’s importance to the club.

‘When people like Graeme Souness are ripping the sh*t out of your players, you know you’re going places’, beamed the Norwegian. ‘Paul’s been unfortunate that a dislocated eyelash ruled him out for most of last season.

‘But If you look at the stats from the past few seasons, Paul’s been one of the most prolific Tweeters in world football. Everyone at the club wishes Paul a speedy recovery and we hope to see him back doing what he does best as soon as possible. Selling shirts’, added Solskjaer.