Scotland will play international minnows Love Island in a friendly game as they seek to improve their fortunes with a morale-boosting victory.
The SFA reached an agreement with ITV executives following some tense negotiations at Hampden Park yesterday.
A spokesperson for the association announced the fixture in a Tweet this morning which read:
‘Cannae believe it, pal. Bring it on tae f**k. #SCOvLoveIsland’.
Chief Executive of the SFA Ian Maxwell believes the high profile fixture will help lift the mood surrounding the flagging national team.
‘We’re capitalising on the public’s insatiable demand for programmes about imbeciles having sex on television’, explained Maxwell.
— Love Island (@LoveIsland) January 21, 2020
‘But we also view this as an excellent opportunity for our players to score a few goals against an inferior side’, he added.
It follows months of failed talks with other nations and their associations, including Legoland, Narnia and Neverland.
News of the fixture reached the Love Island villa this morning sparking a mass debate among the attractive morons who live there.
Cries of ‘melt’, ‘pied’ and ‘mugged off’ could be heard as the Islanders argued about everything from team selection, to tactics, to who used Connor Durman’s beard trimmer to shave their pubic hair.
After a lot of ‘aggy’, the contestants finally agreed on their starting line-up which included Callum at centre-half, Mike Boateng in the middle of the park and the twins Eve & Jess in goal.
ITV bosses have designed a commemorative set of bathing suits that the Islanders will wear during what will be their first-ever international game.
Speaking to reporters ahead of his side’s glamour friendly, Scotland boss Steve Clarke is warning his side against complacency.
‘There are no easy games in football, especially when you’re Scottish’, grumbled Clarke with his usual enthusiasm.
‘The boys will need to be on top of their game to overcome a well-organised Love Island side’, he muttered.
Clarke and his assistant Alex Dyer were on a recent scouting mission to watch the Islanders at their South African villa and the former Kilmarnock boss admits they were impressed by what they saw.
‘They have some of the biggest melters in the world in that squad. We’ll have to be on our toes’.
The Scots are currently 870th in the FIFA rankings but a win could see them leapfrog the likes of Mordor and Gilligan’s Island into 868th place.