Last week was filled with all the weird and wonderful sorcery of Scottish football. We’ve got the magic of the Scottish Cup, the wizardry of hoverboards, healing powers that match those of Jesus and the crystal ball of Google making some controversial calls.
There’s no hiding from it – last week peaked before a ball was even kicked on Monday. That’s because former Hearts, Rangers & Scotland player, Kevin Kyle, accidentally RKO’d his small child into an oven whilst playing on a hoverboard.
It’s arguably the greatest eight seconds of footage ever captured and I don’t have much more to say other than watch it many, many times:
https://twitter.com/KevinKyle1981/status/1196512162283491329
It’s one of the biggest questions in Scottish football: Celtic or Rangers? This week Google’s opinion was put to the test, and it sided with the Ibrox side. It was wrong, of course, because the best Scottish football team should be judged on patter over trophies, but nonetheless a big call. Wonder how many more Alexas Amazon will sell in the East end of Glasgow this Christmas:
https://twitter.com/katelavie/status/1197965437675462656
Talking of Christmas and the East end of Glasgow, the annual Celtic Christmas advert is out and, in my professional opinion, it’s sh*te. So bad in fact that it took four attempts for me to be able to watch the full thing. I now fully understand why Google chose Rangers. Judge for yourself here:
🌟 Star of Lisbon, Star so bright
Star of Glasgow's Green & White#CelticChristmasAd2019🎭#CelticFC #Christmas2019 pic.twitter.com/BM5SSBrCVz— Celtic Football Club (@CelticFC) November 22, 2019
The biggest cause for celebration in the top flight comes from Hibs, as they took the first step towards European domination with new boss Jack Ross. A happy Hibs means a belter social feed too, with the patter and fan engagement once again flowing. Exhibit A comes in the form of a fan celebrating with a pie:
👏| In the meantime, we hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend as much as this supporter! pic.twitter.com/Z1OCoeKLn7
— Hibernian Football Club (@HibernianFC) November 23, 2019
Unfortunately for the Scotland national team, half of the squad was wiped out by a wide variety of injuries ahead of the final Euro 2020 qualifiers. Thankfully the Tartan Army’s suffering is now concluded for 2019 and the players, despite their near-death experiences, all recovered in record time to feature for their respective clubs this weekend:
Tierney, Robertson, McLean, Fraser all injured midweek and unavailable for Scotland. Fantastic recovery from them all to take their club places today. Respect to the respective physios, miracle workers that they are
— Steve (@akaollie1903) November 23, 2019
The Scottish Cup Third Round threw up a number of big upsets over the weekend, with East of Scotland side Broxburn Athletic picking up a historic win over Inverurie Loco Works and booking their place in the Fourth round. Limbs all over the shop here and rightly so:
🔴⚪️ pic.twitter.com/nYuFzghQQd
— lewisbrown (@lewisbrown67) November 24, 2019
Lowland League Bonnyrigg Rose and BSC Glasgow both also picked up wins, with the latter providing some top notch social coverage. There’s nothing better than a stressed admin:
85. I’M SORRY THAT I’M NOT TWEETING VERY MUCH BUT THIS IS QUITE A STRESSFUL SITUATION AND WE’RE PLAYING WELL.
EFFC 3-3 BSC | #BSCMatchday | #ScottishCup
— Broomhill Football Club (@BroomhillFC) November 23, 2019
Turns out an admin announcing a 91st-minute winner against a team two leagues above you might be better than a stressed admin:
90+. GOALLLLLLLLLL!!!!!! THOMAS ORR PUTS IT AWAY HOLY MOTHER OF GOD IT’S 3-4!!!!!!
EFFC 3-4 BSC | #BSCMatchday | #ScottishCup pic.twitter.com/Qy0Dh2LxLw
— Broomhill Football Club (@BroomhillFC) November 23, 2019
The scenes did also throw up another important question. What does BSC even stand for?
Big Super Club. https://t.co/IvFtKnCuX7
— Broomhill Football Club (@BroomhillFC) November 23, 2019
It’s actually Broomhill Sports Club, but don’t let that spoil the fun. Best suggestions on a postcard please.
Fitba? Fitba!