Dom Gall: Brown’s was the finest performance I’ve seen on a football pitch

This week's fitba roundup features Broonie shithousery, Dundee Violet down to six men and a man turning up at the wrong ground

Scott Brown Rangers Celtic

Let’s just start off by taking a minute and having a round of applause for Scott Brown. That is without doubt the finest performance I’ve ever seen on a football pitch. It takes a special kind of wind-up merchant to be lamped no fewer than THREE times in one game, even by the standards of an Old Firm derby.

I said in my previous blog that all eyes should be on the return of Neil Lennon, but undoubtedly the Celtic captain stole the show. I should have seen it coming from Scott Brown, after all he had me throwing every swear word my young teenage brain could think of at him as he netted v Berwick in the 2011 Scottish Cup and proceeded to ‘shhhh’ the home support.

It was an excellent bit of shithousery to get Rangers’ main threat sent off (not that it’s hard – my cat could probably provoke a reaction from Alfredo), and it has ultimately secured the title for Celtic. Morelos will now be banned until Christmas, so it’s probably won them next year’s league too.

Staying with the theme of red cards, Kinnoull FC – who play in one of Scotland’s Junior leagues – tweeted to say their home game v Dundee Violet was postponed in the 89th minute after Dundee were reduced to seven men. A quick look at the rulebook tells you a game is meant to be abandoned at six men, but I wasn’t blaming the ref for calling it short before he ended up on the receiving end of a knee high two-footer.

They later deleted the tweet and confirmed Dundee had in fact been reduced to six men. I can only imagine the lads have a stag do to attend next weekend or they are in major need of some anger management.

I’m pretty much sticking with the non-leagues this week, as the SPFL games were all a bit dull. In the amateurs, a fantastic photo was shared on social showing two teams trying to push an ambulance off a bog of a pitch. Now this doesn’t sound particularly funny, and I hope the guy inside is on the mend, however it does show one of the ‘keepers waiting for the game to continue, seemingly oblivious to what’s happening behind him.

Fair play to you mate, protect your goal at all times. A true winning mentality.

Clydebank’s official Twitter joined in with a group of mates ripping the piss out of their pal after he turned up at Cumnock for the game, only to realise it was indeed at Clydebank. An amusing schoolboy error which we’ve not seen since a League One ‘keeper accidentally drove over 100 miles to an empty stadium whilst his team were warming up at home. What is it with goalies?

Lastly, it wouldn’t be a blog from me without a mention of Berwick. Whilst manager Johnny Harvey was somewhat displeased with being told to take his face for a shite – after all, that’s the reason I’ve ended up here – he still seems to enjoy some mad Scottish insults, so long as they’re not aimed at him.

After the Old Firm, Harvey liked a tweet calling Rangers’ Andy Halliday a “Helmet Sniffer”. Good to see the looming relegation hasn’t removed him of all his humour!

It’s the stage in the season where everyone is fighting for something and anything can happen. With that in mind, here’s this week’s treble. It’s a bit of a mad one:

Motherwell 9/2 – Aberdeen v Motherwell

Ross County 7/5 – Inverness v Ross County

Albion Rovers 3/1 – Albion Rovers v Queen’s Park

Find a full range of betting on the Scottish Premiership over on