Five reasons Liverpool must not be allowed to win the Premier League

As one burning ambition was extinguished in the Premier League last weekend, another took a sizeable step closer to becoming a reality.

Manchester City’s dream of producing an invincible season on their way to lifting a second successive title came crashing down as they fell to a 2-0 defeat at Stamford Bridge.

That left Liverpool – who had earlier trounced Bournemouth 4-0 – outright leaders at the top of the table. And still with a big fat zero chalked in their loss column.

While the Citizens remain 1/3 favourites to retain their crown, the prospect of the Reds going all the way must now be taken very seriously.

That’s music to Liverpool supporters’ ears, but a completely unpalatable proposition for football fans of any other disposition.

Put simply, Liverpool must be stopped from winning their first ever Premier League trophy. Here’s why…

Liverpool are top of the league. Liverpool fans will now spend the next week trying not to get too carried away… pic.twitter.com/zM5Vc0qDhu

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) December 9, 2018

1. Liverpool fans would be unbearable

Could we really start anywhere else? Liverpool supporters are famous for living off their past successes in the 1970s and 1980s, and that air of footballing entitlement has never waned.

When you consider how much they still bleat on about those all-conquering teams of yesteryear, just imagine what they’ll be like if they were to actually end 29 years of hurt.

Becoming kings of England once again would send their smugness levels off the charts. We’ll hear the stories, chants and stats relentlessly until at least the year 2048.

Are you prepared for that? Thought not.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBJSPFsg0cM

2. They would be able to keep their best players

The closest Liverpool came to ending their barren title run was back in 2013/14, under the stewardship of Brendan “OK?” Rodgers. His freescoring side came tantalisingly close to getting over the line, before Steven Gerrard slipped and, well, you know the rest.

Once their talismanic striker Luis Suarez finished giving the Selhurst Park pitch one hell of a watering, he jumped ship to Barcelona to join a side that actually knows how to finish the job in title races.

Liverpool’s subsequent Premier League finishes? Sixth, eighth, fourth and fourth again. In short, it took them a while to rebuild around new players and a new manager.

Should the Reds finally prove themselves able to fulfil their potential, the likes of Mo Salah, Firmino, Sadio Mane and Virgil van Dijk would have no reason to agitate for a move. That would mean a Liverpool squad capable of challenging for major honours on a long-term basis.

How much worse does the first reason sound now, eh?

3. We wouldn’t be able to laugh at them (as much)

“What does a Liverpool fan do when his team have won the Premier League? Turn off his PlayStation!”

“What ship has never docked at Liverpool?”

“The Premiership!”

“I tried to set my computer password to ‘Liverpool’s Defence’, but it said it was too weak.”

An amusing by-product of Liverpool’s barren run of domestic success is just how much enjoyment other fans get out of it. Years of pointing and laughing would be brought to an end if they finish top of the pile. And, to be perfectly honest, we don’t think anyone is quite ready to retire the jokes just yet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAEbYZ9Q6Aw

4. Klopp’s celebrations will get worse

Take a moment to remind yourself of Jürgen Klopp’s wild celebrations on the pitch after their late, late victory over arch-rivals Everton.

Can you imagine what the bespectacled German would get up to if a similar goal were to secure Liverpool’s first ever Premier League title?

He’d do four laps around the pitch, banging his head against the goalposts to the beat of his favourite heavy metal track, before climbing up to the Anfield roof using his bare hands and belly flopping down on to the home dugout. Carnage.

Don’t say we didn’t warn if you it does happen.

5. Pigs would actually fly

Liverpool winning the Premier League would be proof positive that literally anything can happen in this world. And you know what?

Given everything else we’re dealing with at the moment – Brexit, leadership elections, how much smaller tins of Roses chocolates are getting – we can probably all do without having to get our heads round airborne hogs as well.