A source close to Manchester City’s owners has revealed that the club is about to announce a massive sponsorship agreement with Los Pollos Hermanos, an American fast food chain located in New Mexico.
According to the source, the restaurant’s logo will be emblazoned proudly on the collar of City’s under-15 team shirts, which also feature a main sponsor’s logo on the breast.
Barry’s Discount Carpets, based in Oldham, are reported by the club to have paid around £1.25bn for the honour of having their name appear front-and-centre on the under-15 shirt, despite it recently being shown that BDC’s turnover for 2017 was £468.73.
There is no suggestion that this disparity is related in any way to a 2016 takeover of BDC by a consortium named Mansour Totally Legitimate Enterprises PLC.
“Listen, right,” said the source. “This is all completely on the level. The BDC deal is fine, no need to look into it at all. As for Los Pollos Hermanos, the directors and ownership group are delighted to have them on board.
“The chain is synonymous with healthy living and scrupulous business practices, which the owners believe are perfectly aligned with City’s famously honest policies and values.
“Given that upwards of 45 people watch the under-15 lads each week, we valued the collar-sponsorship at £900m and LPH were happy to stump up the cash. I really must stress that no-one’s helping them out with that. Nope, it’s all their own money.”
Strangely, no figures are available in relation to LPH’s revenue, but the club are adamant that there is absolutely nothing to be worried about in any way.
“Haha no seriously, give us a break,” said our source inside the Etihad. “We’re just out here minding our own business trying to take over the world by throwing as much petro-money as possible at any minor problem that gets in the way. Like the laws of the game, for example. By the way did I mention this is off the record?”
The source went on to state that City are lining up further multi-billion pound deals with renowned companies such as Wayne Enterprises, Dunder Mifflin and the Acme Corporation.
The Rebound is Paddy Power’s weekly breaking news story that may not actually have happened or be real in any way.Find the latest Premier League odds over at paddypower.com