What will John Terry bring to the Aston Villa assistant manager’s role?

John Terry’s coaching career starts here, but which of his many talents will he bring to the world of management at Aston Villa?


After a week of intense speculation and nearly 1,000 voicemails from David Moyes, Aston Villa have finally found the man to replace Steve Bruce in Brentford’s Dean Smith.

Joining Smith on the Villa bench will be former England captain John Terry who makes his first foray into management.

Aside from all the absolutely crucial duties an assistant manager usually takes on (repeating the manager’s insults like a hype man, wiping the tactics board clean, carrying the bag of balls onto the training ground etc), what will Terry bring to the table?

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Suited and booted

His playing days may be over, but you can guarantee that JT will be watching from the bench in full Aston Villa kit.

There are suited managers and then there are tracksuit managers, but Terry may be the first gaffer to hold up the queue in the club shop getting his replica shirts customised with his name and squad number, just in case.

And if there’s a trophy to be lifted, you can expect the big man to come into his own, donning boots, shin-pads and all just in case one of the presentation party decide to take a cheeky nibble at him.

He might even dash down the pitch to apply a few lumps of mud to his knees and punch himself in the nose a few times so nobody is left in any doubt that he fought for the title every step of the way.

Assistant managers must have a fair bit of time on their hands, so maybe Terry can brush up his Photoshop skills so he can add himself into a few action shots from each game, making a crucial header, slide tackle or insulting the linesman.

Close relationships with the lads’ significant others

The Villa players will be able to relax knowing that their assistant boss is keeping a close eye on their wives and girlfriends while they’re making the lonely trip to Stoke on a Tuesday night.

It’ll be a massive weight off their shoulders to know that even if they don’t get around to phoning home, JT will certainly be checking in at regular intervals.

You can be sure that he’ll be willing to go the extra mile just to make sure that nobody goes lonely. This is one area where you can only imagine that Terry will be a ‘hands on’ boss.

A football club is much like a family and what family is complete without the father figure who turns out to have a string of other simultaneous families dotted around the country?

Penalty-taking coach

If Villa do end up facing a do-or-die crunch penalty, Terry is the man to advise on what to do.

After all, his ice-cool penalty in the 2008 Champions League final is the stuff that textbooks are made of.

* Step one, walk up with a swagger and adjust your captain’s armband.

* Step two, stand with hands on hips. Work out which corner you’ll put it in and exactly where you’ll run to do your chest pumping celebration.

* Step three, fall flat on your arse and sit there for several minutes trying to lick your own balls by way of consolation.

Guided tours of Villa Park

In many ways Villa will be saving money as Terry can take over doing the stadium tours.

For a roll of £10,000 in dirty £50 notes delivered to one of his mates, JT can take you around Villa Park and show you all the sights.

To be honest, it’d be worth £10k to hear Terry blag his way through Aston Villa’s 143-year history using some bullet points he scribbled on the back of his hand in marker pen.

International relations

Terry is a dab hand at diplomacy – you name a nation and he will have made some kind of pointed remark at their expense.

He should definitely help Villa capture the American market given his adept handling of the topic of 9/11, especially if millions of Americans believe Justin Timberlake has taken an unlikely move into Championship management.

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What do you think?