Andy Dawson: Bye for now, Alan – but just how Pardew is Pardew?

After bouncing around the Premier League for a while now, we said goodbye to the Alan Pardew yet again on Monday…


And so, following his departure from West Bromwich Albion by ‘mutual consent’ (ah, THAT old chestnut), we must say goodbye once again to Alan Pardew as he shuffles off the top flight managerial sphere.

Of course, he’ll be back, when a struggling side led by some unimaginative men needs a new boss in a hurry.

Let’s briefly look back at Pards’ Premier League managerial record. West Ham – promising start followed by horrifying slump. Charlton Athletic – relegation. Newcastle United – promising start followed by horrifying slump. Crystal Palace – promising start followed by horrifying slump. West Brom – inherited and maintained horrifying slump. It’s not good, is it?

But it’s arguably been off the pitch where Pardew has done some of his finest work – in the style of a reality show eviction scene, let’s take a look at his best bits… and determine how purely Pardew they were…

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The Wenger racism row

Seemingly out of nowhere in 2006, Pardew had a pop at the lack of English players in the Arsenal side. Arsene Wenger suggested that Pards was being xenophobic, a claim which he denied, citing the existence of his Swedish wife as irrefutable evidence. The feisty managerial duo later had a bit of a touchline dust-up with some ‘up close and personal’ goal celebrating by the West Ham boss met with a push by Wenger, who was subsequently fined while Pardew escaped without censure.


Touchline aggro #1

First day of the 2014-15 season and Pards sets his stall out, pushing the assistant referee after a throw-in decision doesn’t go his way against Tottenham. Naturally, he is sent to the stands and becomes the story, as opposed to his team’s impressive 2-1 win.


The Pellegrini outburst

January 2014 and yes, it’s another touchline contretemps, and after a skirmish between the two, Pardew is caught on camera calling the Manchester City boss a ‘f***ing old c**t’. Manuel Pellegrini is EIGHT years older than Alan Pardew.


The David Meyler headbutt

There’s Pards off to the stands again, after yet ANOTHER touchline incident (it’s starting to look as though Alan regards the touchline as his personal kingdom). Hull City’s David Meyler pushed past Pards in order to take a throw-in, leading to a bit of frisk between the pair, with Pards putting the nut on Meyler. Outstanding.


The Wembley Dance

After his Crystal Palace side took the lead in the 2016 FA Cup final against Manchester United, Pards took control of his hallowed touchline again, treating us all to a sexually-charged celebration dance. Very possibly peak Pardew, especially given that Palace went on to lose.


This picture

What a man. (Open the hyperlink, don’t worry it’s safe)


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