Things that have happened since Romelu Lukaku last scored a goal for Manchester United

It's only a matter of time until the gifted forward strikes again, but a lot has gone on in the world since United's #9 last found the net for his team...

Romelu Lukaku is a wonderfully talented centre-forward, and it won’t be long until he starts banging in the goals once more. But, for the moment, in front of goal he’s about as effective as a papier-mache fishing boat.

He last netted on 30 September, grabbing the 86th-minute fourth goal in a 4-0 rout of Crystal Palace, and a lot has gone down since then…

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England won the u17 World Cup

…and the hype-machine went into overdrive.

If social media is to be believed, the Three Lions are now set to win the full World Cup at least three times in the next 20 years.

You have to feel sorry in advance for these kids – they’ve laid down a marker that the redtops will hold them to for the remainder of their professional careers. Still, at least…

England qualified for the World Cup

Ok, so they did it with a series of dull, coma-inducing performances against the likes of Slovenia and Lithuania, but who cares? England’s brave boys are on their way to Russia, where they’ll surely thrill all and sundry with a feeble quarter-final exit at the hands of Iceland.

Twitter convinced itself that Melania Trump has a body double

This is a typically off-the-wall example of conspiracy theorising. On the other hand, you could easily understand that poor Melania might go to great lengths to avoid spending time in the presence of her husband.

Hurricane Ophelia battered Ireland and parts of the UK

Some were more bothered than others:

Catalonia declared independence from Spain

Thankfully, the Spanish police’s response was calm and measured:

Everton, Leicester, Rangers and Sunderland sacked their managers

Ronald Koeman, the man who helped Lukaku make his name at Everton, ended up losing his job as a result of his team being absolutely rubbish.

In less exciting Managerial Merry-go-round news, Pedro Caixinha, Craig Shakespeare and Simon Grayson also departed their clubs.

The Carabao Cup draw descended into farce

Of course, it was all someone else’s fault.

Lewis Hamilton became Formula 1 World Champion again

Sadly, no amount of Championship wins can compensate for this:

Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein were accused of numerous sexual assaults

Who would have thought that two famous men in positions of power would take advantage of their status?

Harvey attempted to shake off the accusations by spending a few weeks on holiday at an exclusive resort in Arizona, while Spacey’s approach to evading further attention was simply to come out as gay on Twitter.

The US withdrew from UNESCO

Who needs culture and history anyway? Not the US, certainly, as it has none.

59 people were murdered in a mass shooting in Las Vegas

There’s nothing funny about this. But it happened.

Tottenham beat Real Madrid 3-1 in the Champions League

No, really.

Dejan Lovren treated the world to the hottest comedy set of 2017: his performance away to Spurs

And was then threatened with death as a result.

The Houston Astros won their first ever World Series

No, we don’t really care either. But apparently it’s big news.

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