Five Reasons Liverpool Fans (Should Get out of my Twitter Mentions)


Once you learn to look past the shiny figurehead of The Reds that is Jurgen Klopp, you discover a decaying underbelly. Yes, the man has lovely glasses but does he have many good footballers?

In truth, this could have been titled ‘Six hundred and sixty-three reasons why Liverpool fans should be shitting themselves’. For now, we’ll settle for five.

Defensive Dismay:

We’ve already highlighted Liverpool fans’ discontent with Bambi on ice impressionist Dejan Lovren here. The clumsy Croat aside, they’re still a shambles at the back. It’s worth using the standard of the better sides around them as a barometer.

A one-legged Vincent Kompany is still better than Sakho, Klavan, Matip and Lovren combined.

If you haven’t got outstanding defenders, you must compensate by having a more robust defensive shape. Jurgen Klopp is simply too tempted to outscore the opposition using his front-heavy squad.

His stroke of genius to reinforce this shaky backline was by signing Andrew Robertson. That Scottish left back who was a huge part of that Hull team that conceded 131 goals in 76 Premier League games. Well in, Jurgen.

Mignolet Misery:

We’re not saying he’s a bad goalkeeper. But we’re definitely saying he’s not a good one. Indifferent performances last year led a lot of ‘Pool fans to turn on him. He’s not begun this campaign very well either. Whether you want to pass the opener off on poor marking is upto you.

The Belgian got a hand to Okaka’s header and was probably faced with an impossible task after Matip lost him inside the six yard box. However, when the game is there to be won, and you push a tame cross onto your own crossbar, allowing Britos to tap-in on the line – you will be questioned. It’s like he lives off the schadenfreude of Scousers.

Talisman Trouble:

Liverpool play an attractive brand of attacking football, but they’ve to nail down a natural goalscorer. Incredible pace and good link-up provide chances to Mane and Firmino. Salah might even bang in a few if his opening day strike fills him with confidence. But with Daniel Sturridge set to feature on the box of the latest version of ‘Operation’, there’s no obvious flow of goals. Phillipe Coutinho led The Reds in the goalscoring charts last year. He’ll either be in Barcelona or frustrated that he’s not.

Big Brass Bother:

As is usually the case with foreign investment, the Fenway Sports Group have become unpopular at Anfield. Americans are hilarious from a distance. They elect seventy-year-old children as their head of state. They wear novelty caps with straws in them. But as soon as they come interfering with your football club, they cross a line. The same can be said for John Henry and his cronies. The Coutinho transfer saga highlights their passive, self-interested approach. Funds for Klopp to reboot a bang average squad appear to be drying out. At least Everton look decent?

Delusions of Grandeur:

The biggest problem with Liverpool for years has been their own sense of self-importance. A huge club? Yes. The biggest in England? Perhaps. Divine right to be successful? Absolutely not. When Liverpool fans accept just what they have, they’ll start to consider average seasons with average squads relatively successful. Trent Alexander-Arnold was six years old for Istanbul. It may surprise you, but the legacy of that three-all draw with AC Milan won’t help him defend a corner.

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