Cheer up Aston Villa fans – here are 5 teams worse than you at football!

It's not all doom and gloom

You may be heading for the Championship

But Paddy's here to point out that you could be a lot worse off,

We hold our hands up. We’ve been giving Aston Villa a bit of a hard time recently. It’s not because we don’t like them, it’s just that they’re very very bad at football. So instead of continuing to mock them, this video contains an apology 5 teams that are worse than the Villains. To be honest, after watching you lose 4-0 to Chelsea today, we just feel very sorry for your fans now.

Deportivo Liniers women (0 wins in 17)

After 17 games in the Premier League this season, Aston Villa had a goal difference of -17 and just one win. That’s still one more than Deportivo Liniers female team, who’ve conceded 10 goals in a game FIVE times this season so far. That’s on average 5.9 goals per game. Compared to Villa’s 2.21 . Joleon Lescott doesn’t seem to be the worst thing now does he?

Paradise F Sidekicks (0 wins in 16)

The country of Guam is known for romance and diving (not the Ashley Young kind, the actual pool thing). It is not known as a footballing stronghold yet, although they may once have their day. It’s home to the brilliantly named Paradise F Sidekicks, which is what you called your created club on Pro Evo 5. They play in what appears to be a car park. They’ve lost their last eight games by a score of 117-8 including a 21-0 thumping by Rovers. Aston Villa’s biggest defeat is 6-0. Well done them.

ZNK Krka (0 wins in 11)

ZNK Krka. No we didn’t sneeze, they’re a football club from Slovenia and a relatively successful one at that, winning the Slovenian league 7 times in their history. Not that you’d know that from their form this year. A bumper crowd of 300 has packed into the Stadion Portoval to see them concede 32 goals at home and sit bottom of the table with -80 of a goal difference. They’ve still got two games in hand though and are five off safety!

Bashley FC (0 wins in 38)

What happens when you cross the Bash Street Kids with a football club? You get a team from a town called Bashley who sadly get bashed more often than not. 2 points from 114 available, and losses to footballing giants like the Swindon Supermarines and Bishop’s Cleeve (which we don’t think is an innuendo…). Their solitary victory over Cinderford Town in the FA Trophy in October clearly took it out of them.

SV Gloggnitz (0 wins in 13)

Last but not least to the wonderful country of Austria. When you lose a game of football 23-0, it’s probably time for you to stop. Or at least change something. Which is why we salute the ladies of SV Gloggnitz for ploughing on and subsequently getting hammered 9-0 in their next game. You keep fighting for that maiden win and soon enough you’ll be flying up the Second Division.


Our traders not only have Villa at to avoid relegation, and a reversal of those odds for them to finish bottom. Villa will go down if they do not win against Bournemouth next weekend.

So provided they are right and we will see claret and blue in the Championship next season, who’ll join them? We looked ahead at it here but for now it seems to be a straight shootout between Norwich, Newcastle and Sunderland. The Canaries are to go down and play both the Magpies and the Black Cats in their next three games. This has only pointed out to us the ridiculousness of the nicknames in the Premier League…

There’s only ooooone Paraside F Sidekicks!

What do you think?