Tell me he didn’t just say that?! The best of Michael Owen’s commentary

How does this man have a career in professional football?


Some things in football just aren’t right, and shouldn’t be a part of the game. Diving, corners that don’t beat the first man, Diego Costa. But top of that list is Michael Owen’s commentary. To lighten up January, and what will likely be a double duty of Owen commentary on BT, here are his top commentary quotes ahead of this weekend’s clash between Liverpool and United

On the playing surface at Arsenal:

“The pitch is great here at the Emirates, always has been, even at Highbury.”

Things needed to play football : a ball, some goalposts and:

“I love these players with two feet.”

Which led to this on Memphis Depay:

”He looks like a footballer doesn’t he?”

He’s got a thing for playing surfaces, this time at Selhurst Park:

“I was out on the pitch earlier, it looks great, loads of grass on it.”


“Blackburn have got two strikers on and they’re both playing up front.”

We hope he becomes a ref someday:

“It’s definitely hit Defoe’s hand as it’s gone in, but it’s not a handball for me.”

A new season, but the same Owen, as the Community Shield proved:

“Whichever team scores more goals, usually wins.”

Michael Owen celebrates with Ronaldo 7/5/2005

This man played in a team with Ronaldo and Beckham:

“You can’t really grumble at the red card but it’s very harsh.”

Always one to inspire young talent is Michael:

“Jordan Rossiter is like Steven Gerrard, but he hasn’t got the physical attributes, the pace or the power.”

I for one am glad he explained this one, there’s been awful confusion:

”Chelsea have sacked Mourinho – they do not have a manager now.”

Jose Mourinho

And of course, finishing with a flourish last weekend at St.James’ Park:

”Everton have won this with the last kick of the game!” – On Tom Cleverley’s HEADER

Winter conditions = prime Owen ness

“If there’s rain about, it makes the surface wet”.

He also completley forgot about the watershed…

”Man Utd have to find way of penetrating, stretching the back four. Then you probe & find the holes.”

So there you have it. Thank god the game’s on Sky this weekend.

What do you think?