Dear Dychey: How do I handle my moody manager?

*Dear Dychey is Paddy Power’s Agony Aunt column is not written by anyone who could could even pass for a current Premier League manager. Any apparent resemblance to one is purely coincidental.

Our sage of sound sporting sense is here to provide some clear counsel and worldly wisdom.

Dr Dychey (Definitely Not Sean Dyche), descend from your astral plane with your tablets of rock-solid spiritual succour…

Boxing – Amir Khan v Samuel Vargas – Arena Birmingham, Birmingham, Britain – September 8, 2018 Amir Khan before the fight Action Images via Reuters/Andrew Couldridge

Dear Dychey,

I’ve been knocked down so many times before but keep getting back up, how do you know when enough is enough?

And how much would they have to pay you to get knocked out by Kell Brook?

Sincerely,

AK

Dr Dychey: Bouncebackabilty has always been a quality I’ve looked for in people I’ve worked with. It’s much more desirable in sports people than stayonyourarsuousity.

All achievement contains within it loss, failure is an essential part of success, or, as the great Canadian philosopher Wayne Gretzky put it, “I miss 100% of the shots I don’t take”.

Boxing – Kell Brook vs Sergey Rabchenko – Sheffield, Britain – March 3, 2018 Kell Brook celebrates with the belt after winning the fight Action Images via Reuters/Andrew Couldridge

In your case though it would help if you missed a few more shots – your opponent’s – because that glass chin is going to crack if Brook so much as breathes in your direction.

As for money, material wealth is of no concern to me, though I’d probably take a few jabs for three points at the minute.

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Dear Dychey,

I’ve recently spent some time working under a different manager and have enjoyed great results personally, but now I have to return to my old team where my boss is moody, doesn’t pick me for projects, is prone to personal attacks and generally fails to take responsibility for his mistakes.

What would you do in this situation?

R. Ashford

Dr Dychey: It is natural, in all spheres of life, to think that the grass is greener elsewhere at times. Your recent experience with the other manager has given you a vision of how things could be different.

If the difficulties persist with your current boss you should raise them at a higher level.

I’m sure the people who are his boss know exactly what they are doing and would never make short-term decisions that undermine the stability and best interests of the organisation.

Keeping someone young and talented working for them should be their main priority.

Saying that, if a board member came to me with complaints like this, I reckon I could crush their throat with the abrasive, resounding timbre of my voice, so do not rule out a negative reaction.

Consider your transfer options within or outside the company carefully if all else fails.
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Dear Dychey,

I’ve just been sacked for failing to turn up to work for two months after my holidays ended because I wanted to quit but am worried I won’t find another job. What excuse should I use so this does not ruin my future prospects in my career?

Yours, watching Loose Women,

Papy Dji

Dr Dychey: I would never condone telling lies but the human mind is a fragile thing and sometimes you just need a break.

Take this lad Danny I used to work with. I told him a couple of years ago to go off, get some sea air, refresh himself, get his head right, and he’ll find the right time when he’s able to get back to what he does best.

He’s sat on his backside for two years in Liverpool and hey presto, Southampton are still willing to pay £20m for him!

The moral of this story is that, once you’re of a certain ability in a given field, there’ll always be another mug along sooner or later who’ll be willing to stump up for your services.

Don’t worry about making excuses – say you were taking a gap-quarter-year, or you were on a journey of self-discovery among Buddhist monks, or that you inhaled the toxic misery gases emanating from David Moyes and it broke down your will to play football – say whatever you like, you’ll get a gig soon enough anyway.

How do you think Pards keeps getting jobs?

It’s not for his salsa shimmies.